Ssssssubmmissssssionnn

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21)

            "Ssssssubmmisssssssionnn." Can't you just hear the serpent hissing this most horrible of words? If you listen to the serpent or the world, submission means groveling, allowing yourself to be abused, denying yourself your own humanity. Nothing could be worse than submission, could it?

            Submission has never been a problem for me, as long as things are going the way I want them to. The rest of the time? Well, let's just say that while I don't know how to fight physically, I don't know how to not fight mentally. One of the fights I've been having with myself for years is about submission.

            My first breakthrough took place on a trip to a bookstore. As I walked into the store, my thoughts were very clear. 1) I was going to get a book and heaven help the person who tried to talk me out of it, and 2) It was not going to be a diet book. Why I was so vehement with myself about those issues that had not been raised, I don't know, but that was the way it was going to be! As I walked out of the store with a diet book in hand, God said, "Yes, Karen, but it will not work if you don't submit to it." When I opened to the first chapter, it was about...submission. While that book did very little good otherwise, it helped me understand. God was right. If you don't submit to reality, you don't get the benefits of it. Try to bake oatmeal raison cookies without oatmeal or raisins. Try to drive a car without gas in the tank or with two tires missing. Try to breathe without drawing oxygen into your lungs. Go ahead.

            Granted, all of those have to do with simple reality. They should be easy to accept and just live with, right? Try going on a diet. Try requiring  yourself to accept one of those inconvenient realities that denies you something you want. It's not as easy as it should be even if it's not the same as submitting to another person. People aren't facts or forces of nature. They're people, just like you and I are people. Everyone's equal. The very notion that I, or you, should submit to another person is un-American. It's outdated. It's dehumanizing. And remember, I don't know how to not fight mentally, so it's a battlefield waiting to be bloodied.

            Not long ago, a Christian celebrity posted something about wives submitting to their husbands. I found myself trying to figure out how to defend his Biblically correct statements from the accusations I expected, particularly from my younger, non-Christian friends? What do I say when 1) I'm not married and 2) I do submit well?  What came to mind is changing me. 

          It's a simple idea. Things may have been different in the past, but if the guy you (whoever you are) married is such a low-life that he would treat you as badly as is described, if he would permit (forget demand....permit) you to degrade yourself in the way described, why did you marry him? If your boss is such a creep, why do you work there? If any of these people or groups to which you are called to submit yourself are so unacceptable in their demands, why are you in those relationships?

            Now, I know that there are people who are abused and who are abusive. I know there are people who go from one abusive or inappropriate relationship to another. I know that there are people who are afraid to try to escape. Are you one of those people? If so, then  find someone to help you. Most of us are not. I don't think we need to accept the claim that anyone who says she has a happy marriage is lying.

          I'm going to be traditional and suggest that most women get married because they love, or are in love with their grooms. That love includes trust.  If he were not trustworthy, it would be foolish to marry him. If you trust him, then what's the problem with letting him take the lead? The objection is raised, "What about...?" But this question isn't being asked of that person. It's being asked of you, and me. It's about how we participate in the most important relationships in our lives. What's our excuse?

            Today's passage makes it a little clearer. Our submission is not just about our trust of the people to whom we're submitting, it's about our trust in God. We don't submit to husbands, bosses, or other leaders because God, or anyone else, is standing over us with a club. We don't submit because it's easy or we've checked our brains at the door. We submit because we trust that God is in control, and if He is not worthy of that trust, then why are you a Christian?