Onesiphorus

You know that everyone in the province of Asia has deserted me, including Phygelus and Hermogenes. May the Lord show mercy to the household of Onesiphorus, because he often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains. On the contrary, when he was in Rome, he searched hard for me until he found me. May the Lord grant that he will find mercy from the Lord on that day! You know very well in how many ways he helped me in Ephesus. (II Timothy 1:15-18) 

          This isn’t recorded in the book of Acts. There is no explanation of why everyone abandoned Paul or who Phygelius and Hermogenes were. From this passage, we know that Onesiphorus was a helpful friend who was there for Paul more than once. We all want friends like Onesiphorus, but people are human, and often are more like Paul’s everyone. Every now and again, someone posts something on social media asking if they called or showed up at midnight in tears and in trouble, would we help. The whole point is that if we don’t immediately say that we would drop everything and do everything, we are saying we’re bad friends.

        The truth of the matter for me is that if I heard the phone, if I got to it before it went to voicemail, and if I recognized at least the area code, I would answer (or recall) and help as I could but chances are good that I wouldn’t be much help. Chances are even better that a couple days would pass before I discovered the voice mail. You’d do better to message me on Face Book or to show up on my doorstep and knock for a while. 

          We all need an Onesiphorus in our lives and it’s nice to know which friend is that friend. We all hurt when we discover that our friends are more like Paul’s everyone. As important as that may be, it is more important to be an Onesiphorus. I know people who like to think they are an Onesiphorus to someone, even to everyone. This is an area where I tend to beat myself up. I can’t be there for everyone. I don’t have the money. Even if I did, there are only so many hours in a day. I’m not God. I can’t solve everyone’s problems, and I don’t have the wisdom I would need even if I had the power. There are people I would like to help, but then I look at Dad. 

          Scripture doesn’t say that Onesiphorus helped everyone. It says he helped Paul. Chances are good that his helping Paul meant that he couldn’t help someone else. Right now, I’m Onesiphorus to my father. I need to remind myself that it’s OK to not be able to be there for someone else the way I think I should. 

        Here’s one last thing about Onesiphorus. His care for Paul could have been embarrassing. He was visiting someone who was not liked by the government, a criminal. He may have been put on the watch list, might have been subjected to searches to make sure he wasn’t bringing in contraband. Paul’s Roman guards may not have been the most polite, considerate, or gentle sorts. 

          Part of what Onesiphorus did for Paul was to be there anyway, and do what needs to be done, no matter who disapproves.