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Believing

              Jesus asked the boy’s father, “How long has he been like this?”

“From childhood,” he answered. “It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”

“‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”

Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:21-24)

 

This is the passage that comes to mind this morning as I mentally stumble around trying to get my mind and body in gear this morning. I have sometimes joked that my grumbling is my engine trying to catch. This morning, it wasn’t so much grumbling as bumbling. I started out thinking some good thoughts:

“You and You alone are God.”

“You and You alone are Lord.”

                “You and You alone are Father…” and that’s where things shifted a little, because as my Father, it is His responsibility to care for me. And He does care for me. I believe that…

          But I don’t believe it. I believe that what He allows in my life is for my good and/or for the good of others. I believe that He loves me and guides me. But I don’t believe it. And I don’t think the problem is the hypocrisy of saying that I believe when I really don’t. I think the problem is tougher than that. I both believe and don’t believe at the same time. Maybe it’s a head/heart thing, or a soul/flesh thing, but it’s almost an echo of Romans 7. I cry with the father from the story above “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” And I mourn because I know that in the next part of the story, Jesus chides the man and His disciples for their lack of faith.

          The man cried for help, and that’s what we must do, but at the same time, we must draw our lines in the sand. We must make the decision: believe, or not believe? We must be honest about our weakness and exercise our strength. These times are not just proof that our faith is not strong, they are also signposts God gives us to tell us to exercise what faith we have.

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