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Fearfully

           For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:13-14)

 I love Psalm 139 but loving something and living by it area two different things. When the going gets rough, we tend to tell God He made a mistake, that He’s wrong, or that He’s a liar. Oh, we don’t put it that bluntly, but we question whether something is His will, we explain that we can’t take it, we try to find ways out of the situation, and do and say all manner of things that show that we don’t really believe He’s in control and should be in control. Sadly, it’s human nature.

There are times when I go to God for “Your daughter” talks in which I don’t so much confess as complain about the things that both God and I know I shouldn’t be doing. There are also times when I think that God should speak from heaven, saying, “Karen, just grow up!” Sometimes, I think I’m more disgusted with myself than God is, and about all the wrong things.

But today’s passage reminds us that God created us and that He created us the way He wanted us to be. My usual response to this is that He did, but that I’ve done nothing but mess me up ever since, but that’s just another claim that God made at least one mistake, that He’s wrong, or that He’s a liar. He is not a blind watchmaker god who creates everything initially and then wanders off and forgets about us. His creation continues. He’s at work in me still.

I’ve watched some friends paint pictures. They use colors for skin that I would never think to use in a portrait of a human. As they work, I’m tempted to say, “Uh, skin isn’t purple, not like that anyway.” They’ve got it wrong. And if I did say that, I hope they would wisely keep painting with a smirk on their face, because when they are done, the painting is beautiful and realistic.

When I work on my crafts, I know I must take the project through a “yuck phase” when I am sure it’s a waste of time and that the project should just go in the trash. I also know that if I keep going it’s likely to turn out much better than I thought possible. Of course, I don’t know how the project feels about it, but if we are God’s projects, then perhaps we need to revive an old adage: “Please be patient, God isn’t finished with me (you) yet.” We are fearfully and wonderfully made, and we are being fearfully and wonderfully made.

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