Lovingkindess 4

           When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. (Proverbs 31:21-23)

          There are two effects that this woman’s lovingkindness has in today’s passage. The first is that she is prepared for emergencies. She’s not afraid of the snow, or anything other circumstances, because all of them are prepared. And they are as well dressed as they can be. I don’t know what the colors of the material have to do with a quality that would prepare them for the cold, except perhaps that the red and purple dyes work well on material like wool. It tended to be expensive, so the clothes had to be well made. In general, lovingkindness tends to involve not being caught unaware by circumstances and scrambling to catch up or fearing deprivation and hoarding.  

          The other factor, somewhat related, is that she behaves in such a way that her husband is not embarrassed by her. It may even be because of what she has done that he is respected. Even if it isn’t, lovingkindness involves caring about the reputation of the other equally with your own, or as more important than your own.

          One of the ways these two might be related is that when one does not respect oneself, it’s hard to respect someone else or look to their being respected. So we’re back to the idea of it is by having enough of something, self-respect in this case, to face emergencies is better than needing to catch up or to so afraid of being humiliated that one has to hoard and play the miser with respect for anyone else.

          This is not to suggest that we should encourage the games that are being played to delude people into thinking they are respectable winners, powerful victors just by showing up, and that you can have self-respect by browbeating others. The point is that we can and should prepare ourselves and those around us for trials, and through our faith in God and our preparations, not feel the need to embarrass or harm others in order to protect ourselves.