However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace. (Acts 20:24)
When I read
verses like this, I tend to either get depressed or angry. Why can’t I live
like Paul? What’s wrong with me that I can’t so thoroughly dedicate myself to
finishing the race and completing the task the Lord Jesus has given me? Why
aren’t I some super-saint or super-evangelist? I know perfectly well that even
if I were as gifted in evangelism as Paul, and dedicated to it, I couldn’t face
the abuse and deprivation he did, unless God provided miraculous endurance,
strength, courage, etc.
The first
rational response to this is that God provided Paul with miraculous endurance,
strength, courage, etc. God met all Paul’s needs according to His riches in
glory in Christ Jesus, not according to Paul’s. If God were to put me in those
situations, He has promised to take care of me, too.
The second
rational response is that what we read in the book of Acts didn’t take place
over the course of a year, or two. Paul spent more than a year in a number of
the places he went. We read, and compare ourselves to, the highlights of his
career. Often, we compare the lowlights of our career or life with those
highlights.
The third
rational response is that we tend to select what we consider to be the highlights for
our comparison. We don’t ask God to reveal to us what He thinks is
praiseworthy. If we did, we might be surprised. We want to be the hero on the
front lines, but the soldier who cleans the latrines or kitchen may be doing
more good for the whole army than the hero. After all, an army can’t fight if
it has dysentery. Extraordinary poet, John Milton knew this pain. He longed to
write but went blind. Eventually, he wrote that those who stand and wait also
serve.
Some may
say that these are excuses for cowards, weaklings, backsliders, and other
losers. But when Peter asked Jesus about Jesus’ plans for John, Peter was told
that what John would face was not a matter of Peter’s concern. Peter’s concern
was doing what God called Peter to do, no matter how great or small that was. And
in the parables Jesus taught about talents (His investment in people) what
mattered was not the size or nature of the investment, but what the servant
did with it. We may like to think that the one who got ten and earned ten more
did better than the one who got five and earned five more, but both earned a
100% increase. They doubled the investment. It’s not about the size of the job,
it’s about the faithfulness in doing it.
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