Gaslighting

 “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,  but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”  

“You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. ⁵ “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” (Genesis 3:1-5)

 

 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”

The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”

The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” (Genesis 3:10-13)

  

I seem to refer to these interactions frequently, and I’m back again. I happened on a video about gaslighting, which is easy enough to do. It’s a popular topic in some circles.

Here’s a list of some techniques used in gaslighting.

1. Reality distortion

2. Telling you different things at different times

3. Name-calling

4. Pitting two people against each other

5. Love-bombing

6. Intentional changes in behavior

7. Deflection

8. Scapegoating

So… “Did God reeeeallly say?” and the whole idea that God is lying to you. You’re not seeing what’s really going on. God’s trying to keep this thing from you. If we stick with the serpent, he’ll tell us the truth.

As I listened to the program, I recognized something that I’ve been struggling with from Dallas Willard’s talks. He suggests more than once that we should be willing to be wrong. Every time I hear this, I cringe, because what I am hearing is that we’re supposed to doubt everything we believe and spend 24/7 believing that we are stupid, too sensitive, crazy, etc.

One of the things those who are dealing with codependency are told is that when they start setting boundaries, their responses to others may seem excessive, or they may be set off by things that seem minor. I don’t believe that Prof. Willard is telling us we should gaslight ourselves. In fact, I suspect he’s telling us quite the reverse – that we should not gaslight others. I suspect he’s telling us, at least in part, to refuse to dominate others, or refuse to gaslight them.

There’s a lot of gaslighting going on in our society. The concepts of wokeness and White fragility are based on it. We are told that we must humble ourselves, we must recognize our privilege and crucify it. We must change our way of seeing things so that our perspective on the universe agrees with theirs because we are the idiots, the monsters, the madmen, and the fools and how dare we impose our reality on them? It’s time we check our privilege to live according to our beliefs and perceptions.

This may all confuse you more, but I think it helps me.  One of Satan’s tools is gaslighting. Do I think I’m beloved of God? I must be crazy! Do I believe I’m doing what God wants? Demented! Do I accept what Scripture says? Clearly I’m uneducated. Am I walking by faith? Who do I think I am! How dare I believe I am right? Even Dallas Willard says I’m evil for thinking I’m right. Instead, I should presume that the other person is correct.

And then I listen to the book I’m reading: Uncle Tom’s Cabin, in which Tom is facing just this problem – and is determined to believe what he has found in Scripture, even to the death, and I am cheered. I know that God will lead me in truth, even if the devil says, "Really? How dare you be so arrogant?"