Honestly!

             Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.  (Ephesians 4:25-28) 

Yesterday, the idea was that we should put on true righteousness and holiness, which is “the new self.” As we start over, what would this look like? In today’s passage, one of the things it would look like is honesty. But let’s take this a little deeper than “I cannot tell a lie, I chopped down the cherry tree.” Over the past several months, I’ve been watching some videos involving Prof. Dallas Willard, Dr. Larry Crabb, and John Ortberg. One of the things John admitted was that he sees himself as a “boring little man trying to put on a show.”

One of the interesting things about the interaction is that everyone is (rightfully) impressed with Dallas Willard, whose material is the topic of conversation. Larry Crabb makes reference to his being a pastor and his being a psychologist. But little if anything is ever said of John Ortberg’s background. I think it’s clear that he was a pastor, and he refers to writings of others from a variety of backgrounds, but the sense you get from him is that he’s a boring little man who doesn’t deserve to be in the company of these other two.

I don’t know why I looked him up one morning, but I did. It turns out that he has a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology; the same degree (from a different college) possessed by Larry Crabb. But John is “a boring little man trying to put on a show.”

My point isn’t about John. It’s about all of us. One of the things we’re supposed to do as new creatures is be honest – to speak truth. And he both does and doesn’t. He has an education on par with Larry Crabb, but you don’t hear that from him, just as you don’t hear about Prof. Willard’s level of expertise from Dallas Willard. Instead, he tells you the truth of his perspective of himself: the boring little man. He tells the truth, but he doesn’t.

And I suspect we do the same thing. If you asked us who we are, we might say we are tell all the things about ourselves that are good. We have this degree, we have that position, we are fans of some sports team or hobby. Or, we are  boring little men, or nobodies, or “just a person” or we are not a _______.

I’m facing this as I try to update my author bio. Do I tell them that I earned a BA in English and an MBA in Business? Do I mention having worked at a library (twice) and a store (twice) in addition to being an administrative assistant, a teacher, a glorified stock clerk, a sales lead of fine jewelry (or a seller of pretty rocks), a private care-giver, a gardener, a sales clerk at a garden center, a genealogist, a public speaker, a photographer, poet, author, holder of a number of different offices in different organizations, a jogger, a crafter, a reader, a musician, a single woman, a dutiful daughter, and that I’m trying to become a “domestic MacGyver”…? Or do I tell everyone that I am a failure who can’t seem to give away books, who has been asked to leave organizations in which I played a leading role, who lost and regained ninety pounds… a nobody who has done little but fail in her life and longs desperately to be seen as a competent, intelligent, significant person?

In Toastmasters, one of the idea I picked up was that an introduction is meant to tell the audience enough about the person to justify the person’s willingness to listen and consider what you have to say. There was a time when I introduced myself to new co-workers as “The Wicked Witch of the West.” And they did well to believe me – but then they stopped. Yesterday, I tried out a new one. Someone asked a group what kind of leader we are, and my answer was that I’ve reached the point where I just want to be the old hag at the back of the room who gets told “Shut up, Old Hag!” when I make a comment, then have the same person come to me later to say, “You were right.”

I watched a video with John Ortberg this afternoon in which he suggested that we become comfortable with saying “I don’t know.” And that may be the most honest answer we can give to “Who are you?” I don’t know. I don’t know who I will be to you today. I may be any combination of any of the above, or someone/something else entirely. I don’t know…or maybe the answer should be, “Who do you want/need me to be?” If we can be that person, that is the honesty that we and they need.