Unwholesome

            Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29)

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. (James 3:3-6)

 How should we start over? Paul’s next suggestion is to control our mouths. He tells us the purpose of controlling them. James tells us the reason we need to. This isn’t about foul language alone. Getting our mouths out of the sewer is part of it, but not all. And it’s a real challenge. There are times when I have responded to foul language from someone with “Do I have to? Right here? Right now? In public?”

They stop and look at me, clearly not sensing the connection between what I said and what they said. When they realize, they may be embarrassed, amused, or even angry. I have objected to the use of certain words, and have been told that the word is meaningless, or it has only the meaning that I give it, so if my mind weren’t in the sewer… To this, I point out that they spend a great deal of time and energy in their use of a term that has no meaning.

There are also people who think that while one word is horrific, a minor variation gives a word that is acceptable. Damn is wicked. Darn is quaint. God damn is unforgivable, but Balderdash (Balder being a Norse god and dashing meaning to destroy) is OK. Is Snafu really any better than dropping an F-bomb?

Years ago, I discovered that I couldn’t seem to be funny without putting someone down. As I watched sitcoms, I discovered that the basis of almost all of their humor involved laughing at someone, and that’s a bit reason I won’t watch sitcoms anymore. Think about it: ethnic jokes, mother-in-law jokes, dumb blond jokes… even so-called Christian humor involves embarrassment. “Let me tell you a funny story. My (name that relation)….” Sometimes, it’s meant to shame someone into good behavior. Other times, they need to be brought down a peg or two. Other times, well, “some people are just way too serious about themselves. They need to loosen up.”

Consider how you talk about your family members, your neighbors, the politicians you don’t support.  Consider how you talk about yourself!

For some of us, the idea of “wholesome” talk tends to be juvenile, Pollyanna stuff, always disconnected from reality, but does it really take being vulgar, rude, and abusive to be an adult?

But I’m not going to suggest that you use my preferences as your rules about not letting unwholesome talk come out of your mouth. When you begin again, ask God to guide you instead.