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Identity

             For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.  The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” (Romans 8:14-15)

Whenever we discuss God as Father, some will object, saying that their father was a monster, and if that’s what God is like, they want nothing to do with him. None of us have a perfect human father. I’d like to say I loved mine, and he loved me, but we spoke very different love languages, and that didn’t help. He wasn’t a monster, and I won’t pretend that I understand the depth of the pain suffered by those who did have a monster for a father, but even those who had or have a monstrous father have some inkling of what a father should be.

But, as Priscilla Shirer points out in FerVent, identity is an area where we are often deceived. I recently wrote about the possibility of being wrong when it comes to being the victim of spiritual warfare, and this is one of the big areas. I do a lot to myself. The world does everything it can to destroy our understanding of who we are in Christ, but it’s possible that there has been a skilled manipulator involved in addition to the rather blatant work done by the other two.

Identity is a crucial topic for me. Not only is the issue deeply personal, but I’m starting to do research for a series of novels for which it is the theme. One of the more frightening villain I’ve ever encountered in any TV series or book is Star Trek’s Borg, in which individuality and personal identity are effectively erased. People are just part of the Borg, included like a cog in a machine. This is an issue I’ve faced as a Christian. Yes, I’m saved but that just makes me yet another of the countless ewes in the flock. Yes, there are duties to be performed on my behalf, but if I ceased to exist, someone else could fill my spot and I wouldn’t even be missed.

Yes, I know… “Karen! That’s not true…” but that’s the obligatory response, isn’t it? I’m loved because that’s what God does - He loves everyone. I’m loved because God commands it. It’s your job. I’m acceptable as long as I’m a good non-entity part of the Human, Christian, female, or whatever version of the Borg continuum. The moment I get in the way, don’t agree, I’m history. I’m a monster. I’m useless… I’m no good at anything and useless for any practical purpose, but I’m the last person in line and it’s your turn to pick. Yada, yada, yada. It doesn’t help when your name is used to identify someone who is unacceptable because she doesn’t tolerate being treated with the level of disrespect one assumes appropriate for just another one of the worthless sheep.

I know these things are not true in the way that I’ve described. That’s what I’ve learned from Psalm 139. But that is the narrative that whispers, sings, and even screams through my life, and through the lives of lots of other people. It’s the rut that has been plowed in my mind that needs to be filled in. We all have them. What are yours? How's  your relationship with your Father?

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