Skip to main content

Loving God...

             Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-29)

It may be the time of year and the changes I’m facing or will be facing soon or any of several factors, but my anxiety or anticipation levels are elevated. Last night as I was not falling asleep, I found myself fussing over the fact that I was thinking about falling to sleep and not falling to sleep instead of praying. Even more, I thought about those instead of praising God and worshipping. Unfortunately, the only thing I could think of to praise God for was what amounted to a soulless grocery list of characteristics. “OK, Lord, You’re perfect. You’re omniscient. You’re love. Blah, blah, blah. All true, but it was rather like reading the phone book. That led to recrimination about how little and cold my love for Him must be.

And then the passage above was the day's verse on my Bible platform this morning. Not exactly a mood-lifter but it fits. And as I think about last night and my soul-searching over love for God, one of the things that comes to mind is my love for my dad. I would not say I loved him. If he had been Lear, I would have been Cordelia - having nothing to say to prove this thing Lear called love. My heart doesn’t overflow with words. Yes, I did what I could to take care of him. I tried to do what was good for him, but that emotional thingy known as “love”? I had duty in its place. Somehow, I think that’s a poor substitute.

Returning to the idea of loving God, especially when I’m disappointed with my heart’s contents and my thoughts are - ahem - deranged (spoiler for next Wednesday, this will probably be my word of the week), a video I saw comes to mind. In it, someone talks about a marriage and says that marriage being 50/50 is nonsense. I agree. I think it should be closer to 100/100. But the person said there are times when one spouse has maybe 20, not 50. It’s been a long, hard day.

And the other spouse may say, “That’s OK, because I’ve got 80 right now.” That’s grace!

The problem arises when one spouse is 20 and the other is 35. Then they need to figure out what to do to fix the situation. Loving God with all our hearts may involve saying, “I’m sorry, God, but right now, I only have a 10.”

And God, who is limitless, can make up the difference.  Again, that’s what grace is. But that is precisely why we need God to search our hearts. Sometimes, there’s more there than we think; sometimes, we can’t find it. But God can. And He can provide for us when we lack. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Saved?

  I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.” (John 10:28-30) “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, “I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’ ” (Matthew 7:21-23) Not at all! Let God be true, and every human being a liar. As it is written: “So that you may be proved right when you speak and prevail when you judge.” (Romans 3:4)   What conclusion do you draw when someone who was raised in a Christian family and church, perhaps even playing a significant role in a chur...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Shepherd!

                 “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep . (John 10:14) God said to Moses, “I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I am has sent me to you.’” (Genesis 3:14) The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths     for his name’s sake. Even though I walk     through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil,     for you are with me; your rod and your staff,     they comfort me. (Psalm 23:1-4) For the Jews, it was politically incorrect to make claims about yourself as a teacher (or possibly as anything else.) Teachers were expected to take pride in the...
Post a Comment
Read more

Listen To Him

              The Lord your God will raise up for you a prophet like me from among you, from your fellow Israelites. You must listen to him . (Deuteronomy 18:15)           Today, we switch from Jesus’ claims of “I am” to prophecies made about Him. My Bible platform is starting in Deuteronomy. I’d start in Genesis, where we would learn that the one who would save us would be a descendant of Eve (Genesis 3:15), of Noah (by default), Abram and Sara(Genesis 12:1-3). Isaac (Genesis 17:19), Jacob (Genesis 25:23), Judah (Genesis 29:8), and David (II Samuel 7:12-16). There were also references to a new covenant (Jer. 31:31-34; Ezek. 36:22-32). In addition, there were prophecies about when and where the prophet/Messiah would be born and what would happen to him.           Of course, naysayers will claim that Jesus’ life was retrofitted or reverse enginee...
Post a Comment
Read more