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The Way Of Faithfulness

              I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I have set my heart on your laws. (Psalm 119:30)

                I know it’s the wrong time of year, but do you set New Year’s Resolutions? Have you made promises you haven’t kept? Even to yourself? Let’s take it down a notch. Have you made decisions that you didn’t carry through? Do you fail to live up to the standards you set, or that have been set for you?

                As I read today’s verse, disappointment (AKA “Not Good Enough”) opens the door to my heart and peers in with a look of eagerness. Yeah. I’ve chosen the way of faithfulness and failed miserably every time. I’ve set my heart on His laws, until they were inconvenient. The thing is, I have also read the psalms in which the psalmist laments his failures. In Practicing the Presence of God, Brother Lawrence wrote of his lament to God that apart from God, he can be no better. He also wrote of catching himself in a failure to pray as he should, but instead of punishing himself, he simply returned to his prayers. I try to do that, taking my mind back to God rather than focusing on myself in my failure – sometimes.

                Two methods I’ve found that reduce this tendency are to say my prayers aloud and to journal or write my prayers. It doesn’t eliminate my tendency to go on mental detours, but it helps because more senses are involved. I suspect having a written list might also help. But what if the fluidity of our performance when we pray is not the key issue? Yes, granted, we’re talking to the God of the Universe, but do you recall anywhere in Scripture where God chastises anyone because his/her prayer didn’t sound good enough, or wasn’t performed with eloquence? It was only in Gethsemane that He criticized anyone for the length or persistence of their prayer. Generally, when Jesus says anything about what someone asks Him for, it’s always about their faith. 

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