“I
am God, the God of your father,” he said. “Do not be afraid to go down to
Egypt, for I will make you into a great nation there. I will go down to Egypt
with you, and I will surely bring you back again. And Joseph’s own hand will
close your eyes. (Genesis 46:3-4)
I've heard that Scripture says "Do not be
afraid" 365 times. We're also told not to worry or be anxious and to be
courageous. I suspect I am not alone in
my confession that I tend to feel afraid and anxious. I'm a world class
worrier. I can worry about nothing, literally nothing. I've caught myself doing
what one does when one worries and asked myself what I was worrying about, and
failed to come up with any answer.
This morning, I found myself feeling a little afraid
about my upcoming surgery. My problem isn't with the idea of the surgery
itself. It's dealing with the challenges of recovery. As I examined the
situation, a couple things stood out. First, my fear and anxiety here is normal
for me. I tend to get this same sense of being overwhelmed whenever I have
something to face in the future about which I can do nothing right now.
A second point is that I have faced challenges that
made me feel anxious and afraid before. Some I have faced. Others, I have not.
I sometimes practice "Avoidance 101" techniques. There are a few things that affect or control
my life. There are places I won't go or move because of spiders. I think I'd
rather die than go job hunting or start dating, and sending my writing out to a
publisher is almost as bad.
I don't know that I'm actually more afraid of those
things than I am of the things I face. When I worked at the library, sometimes
people would return books with big, beautiful photos of spiders on the cover.
If I immediately grabbed the book, checked it in and put it on the cart, I was
fine. If I didn't, if I kept looking at it, it became harder and harder to
touch the book. The difference was between feeling afraid, and having (holding,
caressing, feeding, handcuffing myself to) fear, between feeling afraid and being
afraid.
I don't think it's
either healthy or possible to never feel fear, so I
doubt that's what the Bible talks about. But one can make choices about the
extent to which one live in the condition or state of fear.
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In the Sky: Lyriad Meteor Shower
On the Calendar:
First Day of Passover
Birthday of :
St. George
James Buchanan
William Shakespeare
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