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We Are Who We Are, Not Who We Want To Be


Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. (I Peter 5:5-6)


           "Not good enough." I have used that phrase as a name of my own demon. Those are the words I have heard so many times, I've started using its initials instead of it's formal name: NGE. The world says, "Oh, no, don't say that. Everyone is good enough. You just need to think more positively about yourself."
          After quite a few years of failing to rise to the "unreasonable" standards that I seem to set, I've come to a realization: I am not good enough. I will not only never meet my own standards, I will not meet all the standards that other people set, and more importantly, I will not meet God's standards. I know God meets His own standards, but I doubt He can meet everyone else' (mine included) because in meeting ours, He would probably have to violate His own. 
          The solution to "Not Good Enough" is not  "Yes, I Am Good Enough," but "You're right. I'm not good enough but that's OK because God is." The solution to NGE is not more pride, but more humility. Today's passage says that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. He doesn't oppose the proud because they are a threat to His own ego. He opposes the proud because they believe the lie that they are good enough. God doesn't tell us to be humble so He can grind us into the dirt. He tells us to be humble so that we stop trying to grind Him into the dirt because, quite simply, it doesn't work. This isn't about pretending to be a worm, but in accepting that we are who and what we in fact are.

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