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Rebukes And Exhortations


Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. (I Timothy 5:1-2)

           Mom used to say that I have no tact so as I look at today’s passage, I cringe. I’ve little doubt that people would say I rebuke harshly. Part of me wants to defend myself. I’m not as bad as I imagine myself to be, which means that I’m even less bad than “they” tell me I am (since according to them, I’m the devil incarnate.) Am I? Another reason for my “Wisdom, direction and attitude” prayer request.  
          So, if I am to learn, I need to consider what Paul said. The term “rebuke” means “express sharp disapproval or criticism of (someone) because of their behavior or actions.” As nearly as I can tell, the word “harshly” was added in English to make the meaning clearer. However, the word “exhort” means “strongly encourage or urge (someone) to do something.” To rebuke is to push the person away. To exhort is to draw them toward.  That’s the first thing I need to pray about. 
          I’m trying to think through times in which I have been corrected, or at least told that I was wrong, to try to come up with big examples. I’ve no doubt there’re there, but what I remember is rebukes – pushes away, abandonments and removals. There are two possible exceptions to that: God and one friend during a time we worked together, and I’m not positive about the latter exception. What that tells me is that I either have a very faulty memory, or we have a very faulty system in place of which I am a part. Those are not mutually exclusive. I tend to have a faulty memory of positives involving people in my life, but the whole point of the Cross is that we have a faulty system in place. It should be no surprise when any system involving people is faulty. 
          Lord, I confess that I do not do a good job of loving people even when I want to, and when I believe they are wrong, I am more focused on the wrong than on them. Other examples of how I should act are flawed, Lord. You are the only true Example any of us has. Teach me how to exhort when all I think I know is rebuke.

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