Association

          Now he had to go through Samaria.  So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. 6 Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon.

          When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?”  (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)

          The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.) (John 4:4-9)

          Violated First Century PC Rule  #1: Jews do not associate with Samaritans. There were reasons for this. First, Samaria and Judea were once both parts of Israel, but Jeroboam rebelled against Solomon’s son. Since it made no sense to him for himself and his people to go to Jerusalem several times a year to worship, he made to idols for his people. They were rebels who committed treason against God. To make things worse, the people of that area were taken away to exile before the Judeans were, and other people, with other gods, moved into the area. When God made it clear that He was not pleased with them, they brought priests back from exile, and learned to live in ways that would placate Him, but they never truly turned to Him. They continued to worship their own gods. The Isrealites who were in the land intermarried with the foreigners. Israelites were known to walk around Samaria in order to avoid the taint of the land.
          Violated First Century PC Rule #2: Men, especially men who want to be respected as leaders, do not associate with women who aren’t their relatives. More importantly than that, they never associate with women at wells. Abram’s servant found a wife for Isaac by visiting a well. Jacob found a wife at a well. Moses found a wife at a well. I don’t know if there was an actual rule about wells, but who could fail to notice the pattern?
          We are told that we should follow the example set by Christ, so, with whom don’t I associate? Well, what do we mean by associate? This woman seems to think asking for a drink is associating. If I were thirsty, is there anyone I wouldn’t ask for a drink? I’ve been accused of not associating with a wide variety of people who are part of groups of which I don’t approve, but of whom would I not ask for a drink if I were thirsty?
          The first answer that comes to mind is that I would not ask a human for a drink. I wouldn’t want to ask anyone. I would look for a way to get a drink for myself. I prefer to be invisible. I’m an Introvert. I don’t want to bother anyone, especially if I don’t know anyone. After that, I would more quickly ask a woman. Beyond that, I don’t know that I would go thirsty rather than asking anyone, as long as that anyone was not threatening me.
          This issue has been asked another way in recent years, and a way that is both a little better, and a little worse. What sort of person would I marry? Would I marry a black man, or another woman, or a member of whatever group? Asking for a drink doesn’t measure up to “associating” to me. Marrying goes well beyond “associating” to me. My initial answer is similar. No. No, I would not marry a black man, or another woman, or a member of whatever group. I’m not interested in marrying anyone at this point, so, no.

          There are Scriptures that deal with the issue of association. The Jews were told not to associate with the other nations who dwelled in the land they were. They weren’t to follow their practices of marry them. In the New Testament, we are told not to be yoked with unbelievers. In my life, I can think of a few instances in which I actively chose not to associate with others. One in particular seems to fit the issue here.

         At one point I had a foolish interest in life coaching. Anyone who knows me knows that I would make a bad cheerleader, and life coaching involves a lot of cheerleading. I have a friend who was also interested. In fact, he attended a course to become certified in it. He asked to get together to discuss the idea – as it turns out, of forming a partnership. I declined because of the “non-association” concept. He is an Atheist/Agnostic. I’m a Christian. He is Liberal or Libertarian, I am Conservative. He could not respect and support my philosophies as a coach and I could not respect and support his. Neither of us could have stepped in and done the other’s job with integrity without violating the principles and philosophy of the other. I could not associate with him professionally.

          Everyone has standards for their association – and should have. Knowing them is useful. Association requires something more than would be accomplished by a glass of water. Association was Jesus’ goal, I think, but it was association on His terms, not hers.