Skip to main content

Conclusion



          We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the one who was born of God keeps him safe, and the evil one cannot harm him. We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one. We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true—even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life. Dear children, keep yourselves from idols. (I John 5:18-21)
          What can we say to any of this? I wish I didn’t sin. Based on my experience of my life, there is fuel for the use for those who want to convince me that I am not born of God. Dad’s most recent illness required “Bad Karen” to do things that he didn’t like, and lots of other failures (mostly small) on my part. It’s been a tough weekend, and recognizing that fact doesn’t change make the voices whispering “failure” and “sinner” go away. 
         But I know that I am a child of God, not because I’m great, or sinless, or because everyone is, but because He has told me so. Right now, I feel like I’m one of those pebbles being ground under the weight of a glacier, but He is the Rock, and I am safe in Him. How both can be true, I don’t know. How both can even seem true, I don’t know. But I know that my being safe in Him is more true than that I’m being ground under the glacier, no matter how much more real the glacier seems. 
         As is fairly common for me, when these bad things happen, I find myself wondering about my sins and failures, and wondering how that God is doing through the bad things, sins and failure is designed to separate me from the sins and failures. It’s harder to love the world when the world seems to be out to destroy you. It’s harder to turn to idols when they are far away. It’s hard to do anything but cling to God and repeat after Dad, “Help me! Help me!” 
         I pray that God will have mercy on Dad, and I feel guilty, thinking that I’m praying at least as much that He will have mercy on me. But I understand that God is wise, and God is loving, and God is proving Himself true…and I bow the knee about the rest of the stuff.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The List

              Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,   through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;   perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. (Romans 5:1-5)           Think about it. We have been justified. At least, we could be justified if we stopped insisting that our justification be based on our merits. We have peace with God, or could have peace if we stopped throwing temper tantrums. We have gained access into grace i...
Post a Comment
Read more

Listen!

  While he was still speaking, a bright cloud enveloped them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!” (Matthew 17:5)            Do you like roller coasters? I don't. You spend forever climbing a hill. You get to the top and have half a second, then you race down to a low point. Sometimes the racing down involves tying your insides into knots. At the bottom, you either have to be dragged up another hill or you get off the ride. Peter's life was a roller coaster from the time he met Jesus. There would be miracles, and then Jesus would teach things that didn't always make sense, and then they'd go out and perform miracles, and return to be taught. Peter was praised for giving the right answer to "Who do you say that I am?" Jesus said that said answer came from God. Peter was at the top of the hill.            ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Prayer Lists

                 Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good. (I Peter 2:2-3)   In connection with what I wrote yesterday about the possibility that I’m wrong, I’m feeling the need to go back to basics - craving spiritual milk because somehow, I missed something. It’s a little embarrassing, craving milk like a newborn, but the truth probably is that we are newborns many times in many ways in our lives. From God’s perspective, we may never be anything more than newborns, forever needing that milk. On the other hand, being a newborn can also be exciting because so much is new. My mind is playing pinball - ricocheting from one idea to the next and through six more before it happens to hit the third again. The main topic is prayer. I have at least seven organizing structures all somewhat influenced by the movie War Room , which I’v...
Post a Comment
Read more