Husbands...

          Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleaning her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, wihtout stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. After all, no one ever hated their onw body, byt they feed and care for their bodiy, just as Christ does the church - for we area ll members of his body. (Ephesians 5:25-30) 

          Having instructed wives, it’s only fitting we should instruct husbands. But wait… Paul doesn’t tell husbands to submit. That’s not fair!

Perhaps not, but perhaps they are. It’s at least part of the job. They’re commanded to love. That means giving everything they have, even their very lives, for their wives’ benefit. They are to treat their wives in the same way as they treat themselves. And they don’t really have the right to decide what that means, because the example of how they are to treat their wives is the way Christ treats the Church.

           The other example given is that husbands should treat their wives the way they treat themselves. If you want her to anticipate, understand, and meet your needs, anticipate, understand and meet hers. If you want her to respect you and encourage you in your lofty endeavors, respect her and encourage her in hers. Whatever you want from her, give to her. If you want her to participate in things you think are important, participate in what she thinks is important. If you want the freedom to pursue something, give her the same freedom. You are there to serve her.

          Here’s a tip for you guys. I’ve often heard people talk about how much weight they should be losing because they walked from point A to point B. It seems like a long distance. When it’s measured, though, it’s not as long as they thought. When I was taking singing lessons, my instructor told me to open my mouth to sing. I thought I was opening my mouth. At her instructions, I tried to put my first two fingers between my teeth sideways. Look at the tips of your fingers. That’s not really a big gap. When I was in Toastmasters, they taught about gestures. A gesture that has meaning when someone is two feet away means nothing when they’re 50 feet away. Gestures need to be bigger when you’re in front of a group. You feel as though you’re exaggerating but it’s meaningless.

           Chances are that what you think is such a big deal in your expression of love will go almost unnoticed. You think “after all I’ve done for her, all I’ve given her….” But what you may think is a huge wine-cask of love, she may see as half a thimble full. The medium is often the message, no matter how much we desire otherwise. Want to know if you’re doing it right? Ask her.