Skip to main content

Wives...


          Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. (Ephesians 5:22-24)

          As I read this passage this morning, I had to laugh. If I were married, I’d have this down! If the standard for our submission is to be “as you do to the Lord,” it’d be no problem … because I’m not very good at submitting to the Lord. In fact, one of the best ways I’ve learned to tell that God is speaking to me is by my reaction: “No, no, no, no, no, no, no…” Eventually, I tend to run down to an “OK.” Submitting as I do to the Lord? Easy.
          Of course, that’s not really what the passage means, but I believe that’s how it’s functioned. It’s sort of like loving your neighbor as yourself. The better you are at loving yourself (properly and healthfully) the better you’ll be at loving your neighbor. The better job you do at submitting to the Lord, the better you’ll do at submitting to your husband, and vice versa.
         But in the past sixty years or so, we’ve been fed a lie. It begins, as Satan’s lies so often do, with a half-truth. “You are inferior to no one.” What makes that a half-truth is the exclusion of “except God, and His angels.” Once we swallow that bait, Satan hits us with the hook. “Therefore, you don’t have to submit yourself to anyone.”
         Those who preach this “gospel” most vehemently warn us that submitting to our husbands will result in our being barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen, demeaned at every opportunity, never allowed to reach our “full potential” or to find self-fulfillment. If women start submitting to their husbands, we’ll lose the right to vote, to own property, to choose the color of the paint on the walls… Sorry, I’m hearing echoes of the warnings made by Xerxes’ advisors when Vashti told him, “No.”
          My question to women who are so concerned about this danger of submitting to their husbands is, “Why did you marry someone who is such a disgusting pig that he would treat you the way you describe if you let him? Why did you marry someone you don’t trust, and whom you clearly don’t believe loves you? Why did you marry someone you believe is such a failure as the head of your household?” As likely as not, one of two answers comes back:
1)      Oh, not my husband, he’s not like that, but it’s insane to say that a woman is to submit to an abusive husband, and
2)      Given a chance, all men are like that. That’s why we mustn’t submit.
          The answer to the first question is, “then are you submitting to your husband? Once you have your relationship with him right, then maybe you can help others get theirs right, whatever that may mean.” The answer to the second is, “You need to stop hanging around with the sort of people who live that way. Find better friends.” Yes, no doubt, there are monsters out there, but unless your husband is one of them, do you treat him as you should? Or do you treat him like you’d treat one of the monsters?
          One last thing. Submission speaks to your valuing of your husband or your  God, not to his (or His) valuing of you. Submitting doesn’t mean you’re worth less (or worthless) or unworthy. It doesn’t mean you’re stupid or weak. It means you trust him, and love him.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Saved?

  I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.” (John 10:28-30) “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, “I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’ ” (Matthew 7:21-23) Not at all! Let God be true, and every human being a liar. As it is written: “So that you may be proved right when you speak and prevail when you judge.” (Romans 3:4)   What conclusion do you draw when someone who was raised in a Christian family and church, perhaps even playing a significant role in a chur...
Post a Comment
Read more

Meditations of the Heart

  May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. (Psalm19:14)           As I started writing this post, I noted that the meditations of my heart are all over the mental landscape, from a hub where eight superhighways come together to a lunar or nuclear landscape. Do you see my error? The moment I read the word meditation , I think about thoughts. But what’s described here is the meditations of our hearts ; our wills.           While the meditations of our minds may be all over the place, the meditations of our wills tend to be a little more stable by the time we are adults. We no longer tend to want to pursue the ten separate careers we did in any given day as children. Part of this is humble acceptance of reality. We come to understand that we can’t do it all. I think another part of it is disappointmen...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Shepherd!

                 “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep . (John 10:14) God said to Moses, “I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I am has sent me to you.’” (Genesis 3:14) The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths     for his name’s sake. Even though I walk     through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil,     for you are with me; your rod and your staff,     they comfort me. (Psalm 23:1-4) For the Jews, it was politically incorrect to make claims about yourself as a teacher (or possibly as anything else.) Teachers were expected to take pride in the...
Post a Comment
Read more