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God's Thoughts


           How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!  If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with You. (Psalm  139:17-18)

          I have three reactions to this passage: doubt, jealousy, and something that I hope is akin to David’s humble awe. Let’s start with the ugly ones. Doubt comes in as I look at the passage logically. David would have had access to the Law. Certainly, there are quite a few thoughts therein, but enough to “outnumber the sand”? Granting poetic hyperbole, and the fact that God’s thoughts aren’t likely to be limited to recitations of the Law, it still gets an “Oh, come on.”
          One of the reasons for that is that my mind likes to misunderstand this passage. I know what it says, but I read it as saying that God’s thoughts toward me (or toward David in the original) outnumber the sand. Somehow, David gives the impression that he’s aware of those thoughts, if not as individuals, at least as their sum.
          Maybe God thought about David that much, but me? And that’s where the jealousy creeps in. God performed miracles on David’s behalf. If this passage isn’t hyperbole, He communicated with David almost constantly. And then there’s me. Sure, there have been times when I believe I heard God’s voice, but… really? Outnumbering the sand? At the moment, I’d be happy if He addressed the minor problems that take up the majority of my attention. And now that I’ve whined about them, they’ll probably resolve quickly – not because I whined, but because that was God’s plan all along and I am just being impatient.
           And it’s when I get over myself and look just a little deeper than I find myself in complete agreement with David. The reason I’m jealous of David is because God’s thoughts are precious to me. I want to hear them, and I don’t tend to think that I do – not often enough anyway. At least, I like to think that the reason I’m jealous is because I want that prize and not just bragging rights.
          But there is nothing keeping me from hearing God’s Word except me. I can open the Bible any time I want to. Somehow, in that part of my mind that is jealous, the Bible doesn’t count. I want a special word from God. The thing is, if I’m not interested in going where God’s Word is,  or listening to the Word that we have, what’s the likelihood that I’ll want to hear that special word? Is it going to be inconsistent with what I’m rejecting? No. I’m the one whose thoughts are inconsistent.
          Today, thank God for His incomparable Word, for the thoughts He has shared with us in Scripture and in the universe around us. Even if He included us in His thoughts only one time (and I believe it’s many more than one time) it is more than we deserve. Step past the desire for the special and gaze upon His Word. Stand in awe.

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