He Knows It All

Even before there is a word on my tongue, behold, O Lord, You know it all. You have enclosed me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me.   Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is too high, I cannot attain to it. (Psalm 139:4-6)

          Being noticed and known is scary, as I’ve suggested in the past couple of days. at the same time, there is great freedom in being able to be noticed and known without fear. I’m not talking about having someone who doesn’t see your flaws, or who accepts them as though they aren’t flaws. In those cases, there is always the chance that you will reveal something that is beyond what the other can accept. No, the only way there can be the freedom I’m writing about is for someone to know it all for what it is, and still love.

         God was this person for David. David believed but no matter what he did and no matter how much he suffered for the wrongs that he did, that ultimately God would not reject him. He believed God loved him. When I'm thinking clearly, I can understand this when I'm not thinking clearly there's always fear that somehow, I'll step over the line once too many times or too far.

          I think it might have been Gary Smalley who wrote about our souls as little flowers. When the little flower is abused or the storm winds blow, it tends to keep all of its petals closed up tight, protecting itself. Sound I associate with that is “ugh.” but when the sun shines on it warmly and it feels kindness it blooms. The sound that I associated with this is “Ah.” This latter sound is the sound of being known.

         One of the challenges about this being known is that we can’t be comfortable with it unless we are willing to be honest with ourselves. If you can’t accept what the one who knows you sees and knows, then you are not free to be known. This doesn’t mean that we have to be happy with all we see in ourselves. It means we can’t pretend, and even more, that we can’t insist that others pretend.