Honey

You scrutinize my path and my lying down, and are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, behold, O Lord, You know it all. (Psalm 139:3-4)

          Back to the beloved Psalm 139. Today’s passage can be a little frightening, like God’s knowing our thoughts from afar. God knows all about you and me. All the stuff we think we’ve hidden from the world. He knows it. The world probably assumes it and worse, but He knows it the good, the bad, and the ugly. And somehow, probably because He is God and so much better than we, He loves us anyway.

          My previous Shiba was a special needs dog. I was told to send her back to the kennel from which I’d gotten her, but I couldn’t. She accepted two people in the world, and no other dogs. Most of her life, she spent under my bed. Touching her without warning her we were there set her off. Eventually, you could see her brain reconnect and she’d settle down. One of the things she liked was for me to rub her ears. That’s not surprising, because she was a dog. There were times that I thought about what would happen if I died. Who would take care of my deeply disturbed dog?

          One day as I was rubbing her ears, the thought came to mind that this was a way – perhaps the way – that she recognized love. I thought about how damaged I considered myself (and still do, but not as much and it’s OK) and thought about God loving me. I don’t know what God’s “rubbing my ears” looks like, but I saw myself in my dog, and saw God in my relationship with her. I knew how to deal with her problems. Sometimes, I still think about God’s “rubbing my ears” because He knows it’s the way He can make me understand that He loves me.

          Another of the things He knows is that when He tells me to do something, my immediate reaction is likely to be “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.” Eventually, I run out of negatives and cooperate. Some people would point out that saying “No,” to God is wrong. I agree, but my string of no’s tells me that the thing I’m saying “no” to must be from God. If it were my idea, I wouldn’t say “no.” Maybe I’m misunderstanding myself and God, but it seems to me that God works in concert with those no’s. They don’t bother Him. He knows that my brain will reconnect.

          I don’t know how you are disturbed, but what today’s passage tells us is that God knows. He never says, “Oh My Self! What do I do now?” Having loved and pitied Honey, I must agree with God that I am just as pitiable, and be thankful because He loves me anyway.