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I Am


          For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. (Romans 12:3)

           This is one of those passages that I both love and hate, and I’ll deal with the latter first to get it out of the way. If you refuse to do something you believe is wrong, or if you speak out against something you believe is wrong, first you’re told “Judge not!” and then you’re told that you think too highly of yourself because you won’t even consider the possibility that you might be wrong – who do you think you are, God? It doesn’t matter that no evidence has been presented to give you any reason to think other than as you think – the mere possibility that there might be evidence out there somewhere, that might be found someday, apparently requires that you adopt the opinion of the person who doesn’t like yours. If you don’t, you think too highly of yourself. This is a form of ad hominem, attacking the person rather than proving the person wrong. This is not what this passage means.
          Rather, this passage has to do with privilege and false humility. It has to do with what Emanuel Acho described as “weaponizing” some aspect of one’s personhood, whether color, education, heritage, nationality, social position, gender, sexual preference, occupation, religion, or something I’ve forgotten, as a means of controlling someone else. 
          Now, it’s curious that while some people pitch fits about Jesus being portrayed as a white man, they don’t seem to have any problem with considering Paul to be a white man named “Karen.” In a sense, he was from the elite class of Jews who was born with Roman citizenship. Today, he would have been considered a PhD who was part of the in-crowd of elites. He had every right and every reason to think highly of himself, but he learned not to let it go to his head. 
          On the other side of the equation, there are those who make a big show of “rejecting” aspects of their personhood or showing what virtuous people they are by self-flagellation over things they connect with that aspect. And there are people who genuinely think themselves as somehow worthless, and the self-flagellation ensues again. I tend to struggle with this last lie.
          The problem is, all of these are forms of thinking too highly one oneself. Thinking that one is the best of the best, or the worst of the worst, still puts the focus on yourself. Whether we say, “Look how great I am!” or “Look how penitent I am,” or “Look at what a miserable piece of garbage I am,” it’s still all about who “I am” and we aren’t the I Am.

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