Patience?

Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city. (Proverbs 16:32)

          Sunday morning, my pastor preached about patience.  It is also the subject of the next chapter in Gary Chapman’s book. Ever since I have either been hypersensitive about it, or God is revealing to me just how little I have. Like many people, the pandemic has me a little stressed, especially because it seems to me that people are being unreasonable and abusive. It doesn’t help that halfway through the night last night, Grace went into one of her “I want to go out and stay out” routines. I don’t think it’s safe for her to be out for hours at night, even with a fenced-in yard, but she began her campaign: jump off the bed, jump on the bed, try to stand on me, or put her head across me in a dominance move, pant mumble, start the whole cycle over again. I took her out, brought her in, and the game began again. Locking in the room, or out of the room didn’t help. I finally gave her an anti-anxiety pill from the vet’s and a couple hours later, she calmed down. This morning, I put her out – and when I checked on her, she was laying in my turnips. Patience? What patience?        

          Just as with kindness, there are issues about what patience is, when we’re supposed to practice it, and when we’re not. Dr. Chapman defines patience as accepting the imperfections of others. In the past, I ‘ve described it as accepting things as they are, and not demanding they be as we think they should be. Those might be challenges when you’re in a hurry in a grocery store, but what do you do when your dog won’t stop misbehaving, or when you believe that someone is doing something wrong – something that will harm you or others? Should we give the terrorist time to realize the errors of his ways? The murderer? The rapist? The thief? The political activist? The looter? The protestor? Where is the line at which we are to stop being patient, and start being protective or proactive?

          Part of the problem is that there is no one answer to that last question. It depends on the person with whom we are being patient, against whom we are being protective, and toward whom we are proactive. It depends on each of us. Patient for you might be 3 days, but for me, 10 seconds or seven years in one instance, and the reverse in another.

          The idea of self-defense comes to mind. The laws about self-defense differ from state to state, but in general, the idea is that we are permitted to defend ourselves (or another) if we believe that a real threat is imminent. One is permitted to do what is necessary to prevent the threat from being carried out. In one case, that might mean killing the assailant. In another, it might mean punching him. The goal is not to do him harm, but to provide the means to escape, if possible. Should this, or something like it, be our guide when it comes to patience?