Skip to main content

Disappointed?

             and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them. (Luke 2:7)

 

            The advent devotional I’m sort of skimming asks questions each day, and one of the questions it asks about this verse is what is disappointing or embarrassing us about this Christmas.

            So many things leap to mind: my cold, my needing to have a job, the slowness of progress on my story, my inoperative water heater… They don’t really have anything to do with being disappointed or embarrassed about Christmas. I’d be just as disappointed or embarrassed about life not being just as I want it to be if it were June. What is it about Christmas that is disappointing me?

            This is hard for me because I pretty much stopped doing Christmas in 2002. My experience in retail destroyed Christmas, and for years, the season was a struggle with depression. Some might say that I should have been focusing on Jesus, and they’re right, but we’re talking about history and I can’t change that. The fact is that Christmas was made a negative thing, with one exception.

            At some point, I began playing with the idea of intangible gifts God had given me, as represented by stuff with which I decorated. When I became a snowbird, that disappeared. I just don’t have the space for all the stuff I used. I’ve started to try to replace all the stuff with little wood disks that have pictures on them, but it doesn’t have the same effect. That’s one thing I am disappointed about that is specific to Christmas.

            The second thing I think may be embarrassing me is my lack of artistic ability. I have a vision for what I’d like to do with my decorating… the disks, the tree that is on my lattice fence, the little tree inside the sliding glass door – even the wreath-holding Black Bear on my desk. None of it is quite “good enough,” especially with the windstorms that have blown through. Some of the ideas are wonderful, but the execution lacks.

            Related to this second thing is the third. Performance is also lacking in terms of “doing” Christmas. I don’t have traditions. I don’t have a family to make make a meal for. Yes, I am contributing to the Christmas dinner in the park, but that won’t happen for a week. I hope to bake cookies for two events this week, but the time isn’t right for that either. Advent is supposed to be about preparation for Christmas, but I’m not really doing Advent.

            Part of the trouble here is the retail push. “Christmas” starts early and if you don’t buy early, you miss out. The pressure to do it all now makes me feel like a failure because I’m not “ready” yet – a week before the holiday. And there are other ways in which I don’t live up to the standard. I don’t give or get many presents. I’m horrible about Christmas cards. And no, none of these things should really matter. But I also fail at making the season sufficiently about Jesus – otherwise, you wouldn’t feel as if you needed to remind me (correctly) that Christmas isn’t about me.

             You’re right. It’s not about me. I suspect I’m also right that there are things you are disappointed about or embarrassed by about Christmas. I wish you well as you consider them. But the interesting thing about today's passage is that the One about whom Christmas wasn't disappointed or embarrassed by the less than wonderful surroundings in which He was found that Chistmas day so long ago.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Right Road

          Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. (Psalm 139:7-12)                  For years before GPSes existed, I told people I wanted something in my car that would tell me, “Turn left in half a mile…turn left in a quarter mile…turn left in 500 feet… turn left in 100 feet…turn left now …You missed the turn, Dummy!” The problem isn’t necessarily that I get lost so much as I’m afraid I’ll get lost. I don’t want to have to spend my whole trip stressing over the next turn. I have the same problem with my spiritual journey.   
Post a Comment
Read more

Died as a Ransom

                 For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance—now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant. (Hebrews 9:15)                  This is something I’d really rather not think about but here it is and it’s important. I was reading in Bold Love about seeking revenge.  The author wrote of seeking justice when a supposed Christian does something sinful, harmful, and/or horrific, like sexually abusing a daughter.  And the thought that came to mind was of God asking if Jesus’ death was sufficient payment to me for the sin committed against me.                I have no specific longing for revenge, vengeance, or justice. I’m sure there are some lurking somewhere in my heart, but this wasn’t a response to one. It was more a question of principle. Jesus’ death was sufficient payment for to God for our sins.  That’s the standard Sunday Schoo
1 comment
Read more

Out of the Depths

  Out of the depths I have cried to You, Lord. Lord, hear my voice! Let Your ears be attentive to the sound of my pleadings.   If You, Lord, were to keep account of guilty deeds, Lord, who could stand? But there is forgiveness with You, so that You may be revered. I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and I wait for His word. My soul waits in hope for the Lord more than the watchmen for the morning; Yes, more than the watchmen for the morning. Israel, wait for the Lord; for with the Lord there is mercy, and with Him is abundant redemption. And He will redeem Israel from all his guilty deeds . (Psalm 130)             I like Mr. Peterson’s interpretation of the first line. “The bottom has fallen out of my life!” Of course, the problem for some of us is the fact that we’re drama queens, and/or we’re weak. Any time anything happens that disturbs our sense of mastery and control, the bottom has fallen out of our lives. If the past couple of days have taught me anything, they’ve t
1 comment
Read more