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Gold

             But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. (Job 23:10)

 

            Today has been one of those days. I’ve been having lots of those days, of one sort or another. I know before they begin that it will be one. I’d really like to have God do for me what He did for Joshua – extending the day to fit the work to be done. Even if I had the courage to ask for it, I don’t think I would. I’d just redouble the number of things to do and defeat the purpose. Tonight, I feel as though the trailer is filled with ghosts (tasks that I should have done by now and that are haunting or taunting me because I haven’t.)

            And when I get frustrated or overwhelmed, I tend to start doubting. I don’t doubt God so much as I doubt myself. How can I be where God wants me to be, doing what He wants me to do, etc., when I spent the day failing to get all this stuff done when the trailer looks like a craft store, garden, and grocery store exploded inside. Of course, my assuming that my failure, folly, weakness, rebellion, etc., puts me beyond God’s capacity to bring about His will…is some version of doubting God.

                But, Job told the truth – when God has tried us, we shall come forth as gold. But the trials come first. And right now, God seems to be trying my patience with myself and with others. I say that I need more time, and God gives it to me – one now at a time. And only so much fits into any of those nows. What is gold is OK with that. The parts that aren’t gold and that need to be removed aren’t OK with it. And the only way to remove the parts that aren’t gold is by turning up the heat. Sometimes, that requires that He introduce difficulties. Sometimes, it only requires that He let us face the consequences of our actions and decisions. 

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