Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and
lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-24)
There's a story recorded in Matthew
15:21-28 and Mark 7:24-30 that seems to me to be about two tests. Jesus and his
disciples had been working for a long time. Jesus' cousin, John had been beheaded.
The Pharisees were causing problems. Jesus' solution was to take the disciples
on a vacation to the land of Tyre and Sidon. As I picture it, the disciples knew that if anyone came to Jesus with a need, Jesus would set up shop and start helping. It wouldn't matter if that person was a pagan. They surrounded him not only to hear what He might say, but to keep others from approaching. Then, someone spotted a woman coming toward them. Was it the look in her eyes, or the way she walked that gave her away? Clearly, she had business to conduct with Jesus. As she began pleading with Him, He didn't say anything. When she didn't give up, the disciples coaxed Jesus to send her away. He told her that He was send only to the children of Israel. She didn't give up. According to Mark, they went into a house and closed the door. She walked right in and continued pleading her case. Finally, Jesus said to her that it was not right to give the children's bread to the dogs. She answered "Yes, Lord,” she said, “but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” (Matthew 15:27).
For the disciples, the test was about what they had learned about how to respond to others. Each step along the way, the disciples answered the same way. They needed to protect Jesus from Himself and from these people who weren't His people. They were caring about Him, but failed to care about the things He cared about.
For the woman, the test was all about faith. What would she do if He ignored her? If others tried to make her go away? If He closed the door in her face? If He insulted her? Each step, the woman answered the same way. It seems to me that Jesus acted precisely the way a rabbi would be expected to act. It was inappropriate for a rabbi to talk to anyone but his disciples, and especially not a foreigner and even more especially not a woman. When He didn't talk to her, that was to be expected, and He hadn't said "no." She kept asking for what she wanted. When the disciples tried to have Him send her away, that was precisely the way she expected them to act. Jesus didn't say "no," so she kept asking. When they closed the door, she didn't look for another door or a window, she tried the door they'd just closed, and found it unlocked. He hadn't said "no." She kept asking. When He insulted her, that was precisely what she would expect from a Jew, from a rabbi, from a man. She was from an educated area. She was a woman. She was used to haggling and bargaining and playing games. She answered His challenge, and received what she had gone there for. The disciples failed their tests. She passed with high praise and a reward.
Did Jesus give those tests because He didn't know how they'd do? No, I suspect that He gave those tests to show them how they would do, and to show the disciples how the foreign, pagan woman could do, and to show us how they did. The test wasn't for His benefit, but for theirs, and hers, and ours.
There was a time when I could not pray this passage. I couldn't say, "Come on in have a look around. Go through everything, and if You see anything You don't like, feel free to make changes. Pull out the microscope, and if you find any cancer cells of sin, cut them out." It wasn't that I didn't trust God. It was that I trusted Him to do exactly what I was afraid I could not survive His doing: searching, testing, seeing and leading. Over the years, I have learned to fear being searched and tested less. I still don't want to face the struggle or pain involved, but I've begun to learn to say with Job, that "when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold." (Job 23:10) I have also begun to learn to say with Esther, "and if I perish, I perish" (Esther 4:16.)
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Birthday of Anton Chekhov
"One must be a god to be able to tell
successes from failures without making a mistake."
Birthday of William McKinley
"Our earnest prayer is that God will graciously vouchsafe prosperity,
happiness, and peace to all our neighbors, and like blessings to all the
peoples and powers of the earth"
Birthday of Thomas Paine
"The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection"
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