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What Kind of Kindness?


   I've been thinking for days. Somehow, I have this idea that I should write something warm, fuzzy and enthusiastic about kindness, but nothing comes to mind. The subject seems to bring out the negative in me. It's not that I'm opposed to kindness. I'm highly in favor of kindness. It's just that there are so many things that seem to be kind, but aren't.
     For example, in a set of DVDs called PovertyCure, there are two stories about the same problem. The first is told by a woman who was part of the textile industry in eastern Africa. Well-meaning, kindly Americans have been shipping lots of second hand clothing to the area. Who wants to buy clothes when  they can walk down the street and get them for free? That portion of the economy has collapsed. In another story, I learned about a church in the United States who decided to donate a huge quantity of eggs to a village. That kind gesture destroyed the livelihoods of chicken farmers in the area. Kindness from the heart and well-meaning can do harm if those who are being kind do not take the time to find out what sort of help is needed. We need to be smarter in our kindness.
     We also like to think of kindness as a quick fix. We like the idea of showing up, delivering our kindness and riding off into the sunset with the ones we've helped saying, "Who was that masked man?" True kindness will meet an immediate need, but then it sticks around long enough to solve the long term problem that resulted in the immediate need, so that the quick fix doesn't have to be repeated. This is what is meant by the saying "If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach him to fish, you feed him for a lifetime."
       Closely related to that is the idea that kindness is an event. We "commit random acts of kindness" instead of making kindness part of the fabric of our daily lives. Kindness is not something we do, it's something that is part of who we are.
      The final mistake is that we tend to want kindness to be something warm and fuzzy. Helping someone battle against their demons in whatever form isn't something that lets you be warm and fuzzy, but it is kind.
      
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Personal note: due to technical difficulties there may be interruptions to this blog over the next week.

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