Not Worth a Loaf of Bread?

For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life, keeping you from the immoral woman, from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife. Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life. Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? (Proverbs 6:23-28)

            Much of the book of Proverbs consists of things that Solomon, as both father and king, thought it important to teach his son, Rehoboam. I'm assuming the son in question was Rehoboam because he became the next king. We don't know if he also wrote to his other sons or his daughters, but if he did, I suspect this passage would have been adjusted just far enough to speak to the intended recipient. Over and over in his instructions to his son, he advises against relationships with immoral women. Over and over in any instructions he gave his daughters, he would have advised against relationships with immoral men.

           The book of Ecclesiastes suggests that he speaks from experience. He was involved in lots of relationships. Some were undoubtedly good, some were probably nightmares. As he reflected on his life, the conclusion that his experience brought him to is that "love" is not love. Romance, intrigue, infatuation, lust, sexual chemistry...none of these is love.  That person who sets your heart aflutter and you can't get out of your mind, the person you can't live without - especially if part of the intoxication is the thrill of "breaking the rules" - may be toxic. When that person's excitement or other payoff ends, either you or they aren't worth "a loaf of bread." 

           This is why morality is key to relationships, not to make your life miserable by telling you you can't have that "tasty treat," but because relationships involving nothing more than romance, intrigue, infatuation, lust and sexual chemistry dehumanize the participants. They reduce people to toys and tools to be thrown away whenever someone gets bored. When you're the one who can be thrown away as having no value, it damages you. When you're the one who can simply throw away another human being, it damages you. Something in you gets burned, either way.