And
without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him
must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. (Hebrews 11:6)
“What
is it you want?” he asked.
She said, “Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom.”
“You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said to them. “Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?”
“We can,” they answered (Matthew 20:21-22)
Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” (John 21:22)
She said, “Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom.”
“You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said to them. “Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?”
“We can,” they answered (Matthew 20:21-22)
Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” (John 21:22)
As long as yesterday's discussion of
faith was, I have to return to it today because there's more here. Yesterday, I
really only wrote about the first phrase. We established that faith is integral
to life, just as it is integral to coming to God. As a Christian, I don't have
a lot of problem believing that God exists. There are times that I doubt, of
course, usually when I'm not getting what I want the way that I want it. I'm
not sure that's real doubt about God's existence. It's more doubt about the
kind of God He is. How can He be the kind of God I want Him to be when He
doesn't bow to my desires? Those kinds of doubts don't last, but they do exist.
I know better.
It's the last phrase that calls to me:
"he rewards those who earnestly seek him." More often than I doubt
that God exists (as I want Him to), I doubt that God will do for me what He's
done for others. So-and-so got a dramatic answer to prayer. Ms. Thus-and-such
has witnessed miracles. Why is it that he has accomplished all of that, or that
she has such a strong ministry?
I think there are three answers to this
sort of doubt. The first is that God rewards those who earnestly seek Him. I've
been studying Scripture for 30 years. You'd think that would count for
something, but the question is: have I earnestly sought God for those 30
years? I can't say I did. I can't say
that I'm earnestly seeking Him now, or that I really believe that He rewards
those who do so. He rewards other people who do so, but me? The truth is that I'm not sure I would
recognize His reward to me even if I earnestly sought Him sufficiently to
receive a reward. What constitutes "earnestly seeking"? Somehow, I
suspect it's more than I do most of the time.
A
related answer comes from Matthew. James and John's mother was seeking a reward
for her boys. Jesus said that there was a price to be paid. As I am lamenting
my apparently lack of reward, I have to ask myself whether I'm really willing
to live the sort of lives those I envy lived. Am I willing to drink their cups?
Honestly, I'm not.
The third answer is the best, I think.
God has a specific purpose in mind. The rewards given to others don't do a
thing to prepare me for the glory He's prepared for me. My jealousy of their
rewards needs to be addressed as what it is - doubt of God's love for me. Part
of earnestly seeking Him means fixing my eyes on Him, and not worrying about
how I compare with others.
Lord,
first I confess that I look at the way You appear to be being God to other
people, and find myself sorely lacking. You are a God who rewards those who
earnestly seek You, not those who earnestly seek rewards and especially not
those who seek someone else's rewards. Help me to fix my eyes on You, the
Author and Perfector of my faith. Help
me to seek You and to use the rewards that seeking You brings to glorify You.
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