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It's Over


                 Afterward Jesus appeared again to his disciples, by the Sea of Tiberias. It happened this way: Simon Peter, Thomas (called Didymus), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. “I’m going out to fish,” Simon Peter told them, and they said, “We’ll go with you.” So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing. Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus. 
               He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?” 
          “No,” they answered. 
                He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish. 
                Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish, for they were not far from shore, about a hundred yards. When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread. 
                Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught.” 
                 Simon Peter climbed aboard and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn. 
                Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” None of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. This was now the third time Jesus appeared to his disciples after he was raised from the dead. (John 21:1-14)


          It's over, Today everything settles back down. Yes, He is risen! But today we have to go back to our "real" lives. I don't know whether all the disciples felt that way, but I bet Peter did. Yes, Jesus was alive, and I'm sure Peter was overjoyed, but... he had denied Him, not once, but three times. Jesus was probably looking for his replacement as Peter sat there, not knowing what to do. As Vezzini told Inigo, "When the job went wrong, you go back to the beginning." That's what Peter decided to do. Half of the disciples went with him. Were they sharing his feeling of lostness? Were they trying to comfort him? Was one of the two other disciples Peter's brother, Andrew? 
          The spent the night fishing, and caught nothing. It's speculation, but I can put myself in Peter's sandals. I tried to protect Him and got rebuked. I ran away. I tried to follow, to be there if He needed me, and stupidly denied Him three times. OK, everyone else ran away, too, and only John and I went to the courtyard, but that third failure.... You just don't come back from that one. And then, the first night back at the meaningless job that is all I have left, and I fail. The only thing I know, and I fail.
          Then, there's that voice from the shore. Throw the nets on the other side of the boat? Could it be? Is it He? I wonder when they realized. I wonder why they obeyed. Why didn't they just row for shore? I mean, yes, He said ... but what do fish matter at that moment? Finally, John says what they must have all known. It's like the door has finally been opened just wide enough for Peter to squeeze through and like my Gracie, he's gone! 
          Yes, Peter failed. He failed spectacularly. There is absolutely no hope for him as a disciple, and yet - that's Jesus on the shore. No matter what you are, it's JESUS on the shore. That's the sort of love I want to have for Him. As we return to normal life (whatever that means) that's the sort of love that I want to have for Him, that if He calls to me in the darkness and tells me to do something stupid, I do it, and even though I've failed, as soon as I can, that I would dive into the sea to get to him.

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