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Oh, Come On!


 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (I Corinthians 13:4-8a)
          Oh, come on! To love God, I can’t envy Him? That’s especially difficult today. I have sore muscles, sore joints, a blister on my toe, and hot flashes. I have circumstances that might not be too bad compared to some, but they would be so much easier if I had God’s perspective, or God’s wisdom, or God’s power… yes, just some of God’s power to fix some of these distractions would make life so much easier. I know these are petty problems but the size of the problem doesn’t matter much, it’s the response that needs our attention. I’m not even sure the envy needs to be God-envy. If I had as much self-discipline, or as much strength, or were as young as some of my friends, I wouldn’t have these problems, either. But God allowed, or caused me to be me, instead of being my friend. The truth of the matter is that if I were my friend, I’d have a whole different set of things that I could envy in God or in others. 
        “If God had only...." 
                 “If God would only…”
         Envy is the oldest problem facing man. We’re told that man was “very good” when he was created, but not perfect. At least, he was not perfect the way God is perfect. God is perfect and man was never “like God.” That was the focus of the temptation: “You will be like the Most High.” I find myself thinking of Galadriel’s discussion with Frodo.
Frodo:  If you ask it of me, I will give you the One Ring.
Galadriel: You offer it to me freely? I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired this. In the place of a Dark Lord you would have a Queen! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the Morn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love me and despair! 
       "I have passed the test. I will diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel."
         The story’s hero is Galadriel’s serpent offering her godhood, offering her the thing she greatly desired. I try to think of this passage and the enormous strength, wisdom, and nobility of the Elf Queen who rejects envy and submits her destiny as a creature rather than the Creator. Gandalf does the same earlier in the story, though not as elegantly or eloquently. Somehow, they communicate the idea to me better than the temptations of Christ in the wilderness do but the idea is the same. We envy petty things, just a little of this and life would be so much better. I don’t want the whole world, God, just the power to make my little corner of it easier or just the power to make things work right. Come on, I’m not asking for much. 
         There is a significant portion of our culture that turns this envy into a virtue. It is right for us to want what God has, or what another person has, because if God or that other person was good, He/he would have given some to us so that we would be equal. God isn’t “fair.” We only want what we deserve. Those keeping it from us are evil. And now we have confessed our hatred of God, the evil One who withholds what we deserve. This is why we must be vigilant with regard to envy. We cannot love and envy.

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