Lord, how many are y foes! How many rise up against me! Many are saying, "God will not deliver him." But you, Lord, are
a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high. I call out to the Lord, and he answers me from his holy mountain. I lie and sleep; I wake again, because the LORD sustains me. I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side. Arise, LORD! Deliver me, my God! Strike all my enemies on the jaw, break the teeth of the wicked. From the LORD comes deliverance. My your blessing be on your people (Psalm 3).
This morning, my sister mentioned finding comfort in the Psalms, and I decided she was right. That’s probably what I need right now. What I’m finding in the first few psalms, however, is that when the psalmist wrote of troubles, he was facing enemies, flesh-and-blood enemies who wanted to destroy him. I can’t relate. No one is after me with a gun. I can’t even really claim that the devil is out to get me. It doesn’t seem to me that either Dad or I are of enough spiritual importance to earn the enmity of the devil. I could be wrong, but my enemies at the moment all seem to come under the category of “life” and “circumstances.”
It seems to me that the enemy who is saying “God will not deliver her” is me. My situation is my cross to bear, my burden, and I believe that it is by going through it, with all of its pain, that I will be made better, stronger, purer…. It will all work together for good, as Romans 8:28 promises, but that doesn’t make all that ends up working together for good, good. It seems to me I’m in a Kobayashi Maru scenario, there is no way to win, or if there is, it involves cheating and it seems to me that while other people cheat as easily as they breathe, I am so bad at it that there’s no use trying.
And yet, God is the same God. He is still good. He hasn’t changed, and so, somehow, He is a shield around me. He is my glory. He is the One who lifts my head high. He does answer from His holy mountain. That doesn’t mean I can see the answers, but that they are either here or on the way. Perhaps it’s my jaw that needs to be stricken, and my teeth that need to be broken (I hope not, I don’t have dental insurance!) Perhaps I need to shut my mouth and wait to see what He does. Not quite sure how to do that. I’m too busy being angry and being foolish (remember Pity The Fool?)
This morning, my sister mentioned finding comfort in the Psalms, and I decided she was right. That’s probably what I need right now. What I’m finding in the first few psalms, however, is that when the psalmist wrote of troubles, he was facing enemies, flesh-and-blood enemies who wanted to destroy him. I can’t relate. No one is after me with a gun. I can’t even really claim that the devil is out to get me. It doesn’t seem to me that either Dad or I are of enough spiritual importance to earn the enmity of the devil. I could be wrong, but my enemies at the moment all seem to come under the category of “life” and “circumstances.”
It seems to me that the enemy who is saying “God will not deliver her” is me. My situation is my cross to bear, my burden, and I believe that it is by going through it, with all of its pain, that I will be made better, stronger, purer…. It will all work together for good, as Romans 8:28 promises, but that doesn’t make all that ends up working together for good, good. It seems to me I’m in a Kobayashi Maru scenario, there is no way to win, or if there is, it involves cheating and it seems to me that while other people cheat as easily as they breathe, I am so bad at it that there’s no use trying.
And yet, God is the same God. He is still good. He hasn’t changed, and so, somehow, He is a shield around me. He is my glory. He is the One who lifts my head high. He does answer from His holy mountain. That doesn’t mean I can see the answers, but that they are either here or on the way. Perhaps it’s my jaw that needs to be stricken, and my teeth that need to be broken (I hope not, I don’t have dental insurance!) Perhaps I need to shut my mouth and wait to see what He does. Not quite sure how to do that. I’m too busy being angry and being foolish (remember Pity The Fool?)
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