My dear brothers and
sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak
and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God
desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the
evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can
save you. (James 1:19-21)
If a wise person goes to court with a
fool, the fool rages and scoffs, and there is no peace. (Proverbs 29:9)
Here we
go again. Yesterday, I wrote this blog from the waiting room to the emergency
room, preparing to face Dad’s anger. He didn’t want to come. I don’t want to go
into details, but he’s angry because I didn’t give him a choice. I can
understand that. I hate it when people make decisions that affect me without
allowing me the right as an adult to at least participate in the discussion. And
this point, no one is paying attention to what he wants at all. I’m making the
decisions. Again, I’m trying not to do the pity party routine. I’d much rather not mention anything that’s going on in my life. I’d rather pretend everything’s fine. I’d rather be invisible, but years ago, I discovered or decided two things: 1) that I wasn’t going to pretend to be someone else any more, and 2) that I experience things not only to teach me, but also to help others learn. So, here I am, sharing what I don’t want to because it might help someone else.
I hate to suggest that my father is a fool, but he has dementia. He doesn’t understand what is being done to him or why he can’t have his way. But he’s angry. I understand, I would be angry, too, but when a person is angry, tired, hungry, overwhelmed, stressed, worried, etc., that person isn’t likely to think straight, even without cognitive difficulties added to the mix. Human anger does not…can not produce the righteousness, or right or wise actions, that God desires. We become, at least temporarily, fools. And sometimes, the best we can do for others who have done that is “pity the fool.”
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