Guilty?

         But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. (Matthew 5:22)

          For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all. (James 2:10)

          You know my reproach and my shame and my dishonor; All my adversaries are before You. (Psalm 61:19)

          but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, (I Corinthians 1:27)

           I watched a video that reported on various efforts to do good. Lots of groups like to send clothing to eastern Africa. One group sent eggs to somewhere in south Asia. In both cases, the kindness done destroyed local economic opportunities, plunging the people into worse situations than the ones in which they started. I’ve also heard vicious accusations about the evils done by missionaries who have gone into areas to help the people, but that help has been seen as oppression. (Never mind differing cultural understandings from then to now about what constitutes “help.”)

          People have long pointed out that the same hot sun that hardens clay softens wax. The same hot water that softens a potato hardens an egg. Guilt and shame are like the sun and the water. Our awareness of them – our feeling of their heat is meant to draw us nearer to God. Often, it drives us away. What is meant to help hurts instead because we don’t understand, or we reject the warning they give. And yes, there are times that both are misused, with the same negative effect.

          Guilt and shame are much like anger and fear. They are natural responses meant to bring our attention to the fact that something is wrong. While anger and fear deal with perceived external threats, guilt and shame tend to focus on us and our behavior. Technically, guilt is a state of being, not a feeling. If you have done something, you are guilty of having done it. It’s not something put on us from outside. Being declared guilty is not what makes us guilty, it is a statement of fact, like “You have COVID-19” is a statement of fact that can be made by a doctor who has performed the tests that show whether or not you have it.

          Shame is the feeling produced generally when you are discovered to be guilty of something – when the truth is told and you don’t like it. Twenty years ago, I learned a lesson about this that I wish I could get through my thick skull again. I’d joined a group at my church to lose weight. I don’t remember what brought it to mind, but I discovered that when I was willing to confess to myself and to others that “I am fat,” being fat no longer held the power over me that it had. I was no longer ashamed, I was just guilty. I’ve since regained the weight, and I’m once again ashamed of being fat, partly because I can’t seem to get myself to repeat the process that helped me shed the weight before.

          Again, the belt of truth and the sword of the Spirit are invaluable here. If we face the truth, and we turn to the Spirit, we can find help in dealing with both guilt and shame. If we turn away from the truth and the Spirit, we can only increase our guilt and shame.