Honor your father and
your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12)
Today’s passage introduces
us to the third named category within the commandments. So far, we’ve dealt with
God and gods. The very next category is parents. That should give us some idea
of how important fathers and mothers are. Not only are they mentioned in the Ten
Commandments, but they are listed right after God. We are to have great respect
for them and hold them in great esteem.
The commandment doesn’t stipulate
that our fathers and mothers be worthy of honor. They may not do anything to
set them apart from the worst of parents. Their behavior is not the issue. In
fact, this commandment was given to people whose parents had been slaves (as
they themselves had been.) It was also given to a generation who would die in
the wilderness because of their disobedience. That’s certainly not the sort of
parents who would be honored, and yet God says, “Honor your father and your
mother.”
This is so important that
God makes a promise about what will happen if we do so: we may live long in the
land the Lord our God is giving us. God doesn’t offer us a carrot with regard
to how we treat Him, but He does for how we treat our parents.
Not surprisingly, sociological
studies show that those who participate in religious communities, and those who
honor their parents – and by extension the family – are healthier overall than
those who don’t. Society is healthier when parents and families are honored. When
parents and the family are not honored, society falls apart.
I know some people have parents
who are difficult – possibly even impossible to honor (from our perspective.) My parents were
pretty good, but I find it hard to honor my father, especially having lived
with him while he deteriorated under the influence of dementia. What is at
issue is not the question of whether or not a command is easy to follow, but
whether or not we do follow, easy or not.
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