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What the One Who Fears Needs

             Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, and to the younger men as brothers, to the older women as mothers, and to the younger women as sisters, in all purity. (I Timothy 5:1-2) 

            Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.  Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. (Romans 12:14-16)

 

            We’ve been looking at fear in ourselves for a good part of the week. Now it’s time to take a moment to turn the focus outward. Many years ago, I admitted my fear of spiders to a group of older women, who proceeded to rebuke me for fearing spiders – or anything else. I don’t remember whether they actually questioned my Christianity, but their disapproval and rejection was clear. More recently, after I had mentioned my struggles in the same area with a coworker, she came toward me with her hands cupped together, and asked if I wanted to get over my fear of spiders.

            This is one of the concerns I have when someone suggests that we can and should live our lives without fear. Maybe we can. If we can, we should. But with possibilities too often comes bad behavior. We can; we should; if we don’t (or can’t) there’s something wrong with us. We’re sinful. We’re weak. The obvious solution is for those around us to either berate us into courage or burn out of fear by forcing us to face it until we become like them.

            Dallas Willard never suggested that this was acceptable. Paul made it clear that he would not think it acceptable. And while I didn't share any passages as proof, I'm just as certain Jesus would not. Surely, each would have declared that this sort of behavior was one of the things he didn’t mean. I agree with them. From what I have read and heard about them, they would never attack someone because they failed to live up to this “You can live without fear” proclamation. The person who is afraid needs prayer, not persecution.

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