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Stepping Into The Light

             Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God. (John 3:20-21)

          My first thought when I read this passage this morning is, “that works both ways. It’s normal.” And I’m both right and wrong in that thought. I’ll get to the wrong part in a moment. Back in 2014 or 2015, Dad wasn’t happy with our park for some reason, so I was researching other areas and parks. To make a long story short, I found myself checking into the political demographics of the area because I had concerns about our safety. I was concerned that we might need to be able to hide. They might have been irrational concerns, but they were there. Put simply, I feared – not what I saw as the light, but as the darkness. I feared that my deeds and opinions might become known. (Be quiet? Me?) Ultimately, we did not move, and my fears were not part of the reason, but they were there. Even for most Christians, there is a reluctance to bring our sins into the light where others can look and find fault. It’s normal and natural to be afraid to be identified, found out, or exposed as the enemy. To put it Biblically, we realize we are naked and sew fig leaves or hide. This is the sense in which I am right.

          Of course, the sense in which I am wrong is the sense in which Jesus meant it. Most of those who do evil don’t want their evil brought to light. They hide in the darkness. They hide behind masks (some of which are their own faces,) in groups, and in darkness (either physical or ideological.) They don’t want what they’ve done to be made known unless they’ve dressed their acts up in pretty costumes first.[1] And they fear stepping into the light not only because they know they are guilty, but because they either fear the punishment they know they deserve, or they fear the punishment they are convinced they don’t deserve.

          Terrible people aren’t alone in this fear. Not too long ago, I wrote about my fears about God searching me and trying me. I was convinced that He would find wicked ways in me (even if I didn’t realize they were wicked) and that He would reject me as a result. I’ve changed that view – I would now prefer to drag myself into the light and get the Father’s help in removing splinters and treating infections – until it’s time to take that step. Then I have to summon courage.

          It boils down to the fact that we fear judgment. And whose judgment we fear more determines which way we are most afraid to step – into the light, or into the darkness.


[1] Side thought – “Naked acts = pornography”?

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