Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God. (John 3:20-21)
My first thought when I read this passage this morning is, “that
works both ways. It’s normal.” And I’m both right and wrong in that thought. I’ll
get to the wrong part in a moment. Back in 2014 or 2015, Dad wasn’t happy with
our park for some reason, so I was researching other areas and parks. To make a
long story short, I found myself checking into the political demographics of
the area because I had concerns about our safety. I was concerned that we might
need to be able to hide. They might have been irrational concerns, but they
were there. Put simply, I feared – not what I saw as the light, but as the
darkness. I feared that my deeds and opinions might become known. (Be quiet?
Me?) Ultimately, we did not move, and my fears were not part of the reason, but
they were there. Even for most Christians, there is a reluctance to bring our
sins into the light where others can look and find fault. It’s normal and
natural to be afraid to be identified, found out, or exposed as the enemy. To
put it Biblically, we realize we are naked and sew fig leaves or hide. This is
the sense in which I am right.
Of course, the sense in which I am wrong is the sense in
which Jesus meant it. Most of those who do evil don’t want their evil brought
to light. They hide in the darkness. They hide behind masks (some of which are
their own faces,) in groups, and in darkness (either physical or ideological.)
They don’t want what they’ve done to be made known unless they’ve dressed their
acts up in pretty costumes first.[1] And
they fear stepping into the light not only because they know they are guilty,
but because they either fear the punishment they know they deserve, or they fear the punishment they are convinced they don’t deserve.
Terrible people aren’t alone in this fear. Not too long
ago, I wrote about my fears about God searching me and trying me. I was
convinced that He would find wicked ways in me (even if I didn’t realize they
were wicked) and that He would reject me as a result. I’ve changed that view –
I would now prefer to drag myself into the light and get the Father’s help in
removing splinters and treating infections – until it’s time to take that step.
Then I have to summon courage.
It boils down to the fact that we fear judgment. And whose
judgment we fear more determines which way we are most afraid to step – into the
light, or into the darkness.
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