Skip to main content

Search Me!

             Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-24)

I’ve said before that this passage used to be a big problem for me because I was so sure that God would be disappointed in what He found. At the same time, when I worked at Sears, I discovered that I’m visually oriented, and often felt the need for an assistant manager to come to look at what I’d done, to make sure it was right and to make sure I wouldn’t get in trouble. I remember taking things out to show my father (even when I was over 50!) so that someone in the universe could acknowledge it. More often than not, I got an “Oh? Yep.” Sometimes a “That’s nice,” but it was without any real interest. That was the way Dad was. Now, I find myself posting stupid pictures of baskets that I’ve dry-brush painted and announcing the number of projects I’ve completed.

Sadly, if you hide what you’re doing, it’s rather hard for anyone to approve, and if you don’t hide what you’re doing, you risk being accused of narcissism. But God knows, so we shouldn’t worry about taking our good and bad to Him -but we do, because we believe the lie. Recently a writer friend was sharing about turning 30 and feeling like a failure. I suggested to her that we both needed to start saying “Liar, Liar, pants on fire!” regularly because once we identify the lie, it’s easier to reject – and once we put words to the truth, it’s likely to stop hurting as much.

And in the same way, if we practice saying the passage above, it becomes less of a threat – and almost a desperate plea.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The List

              Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,   through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;   perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. (Romans 5:1-5)           Think about it. We have been justified. At least, we could be justified if we stopped insisting that our justification be based on our merits. We have peace with God, or could have peace if we stopped throwing temper tantrums. We have gained access into grace i...
Post a Comment
Read more

Listen!

  While he was still speaking, a bright cloud enveloped them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!” (Matthew 17:5)            Do you like roller coasters? I don't. You spend forever climbing a hill. You get to the top and have half a second, then you race down to a low point. Sometimes the racing down involves tying your insides into knots. At the bottom, you either have to be dragged up another hill or you get off the ride. Peter's life was a roller coaster from the time he met Jesus. There would be miracles, and then Jesus would teach things that didn't always make sense, and then they'd go out and perform miracles, and return to be taught. Peter was praised for giving the right answer to "Who do you say that I am?" Jesus said that said answer came from God. Peter was at the top of the hill.            ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Prayer Lists

                 Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good. (I Peter 2:2-3)   In connection with what I wrote yesterday about the possibility that I’m wrong, I’m feeling the need to go back to basics - craving spiritual milk because somehow, I missed something. It’s a little embarrassing, craving milk like a newborn, but the truth probably is that we are newborns many times in many ways in our lives. From God’s perspective, we may never be anything more than newborns, forever needing that milk. On the other hand, being a newborn can also be exciting because so much is new. My mind is playing pinball - ricocheting from one idea to the next and through six more before it happens to hit the third again. The main topic is prayer. I have at least seven organizing structures all somewhat influenced by the movie War Room , which I’v...
Post a Comment
Read more