Underhanded...

         Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. (2 Corinthians 4:1-2 NIV) 

Or… 

Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart. But we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways. We refuse to practice cunning or tamper with God’s word, but by the open statement of the truth we would commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. (2 Corinthians 4:1-2 ESV)

 

 I’ve told this story many times, but déjà vu all over again. Years ago, I struggled with trying to write a mission statement because the guide I was using said that a mission statement had to do with what you wanted to be, what you wanted to do, what you wanted to have, and how you wanted to go about being, doing, and having. After struggling with the idea, for a decade, as I drove home from work one day, I was congratulating myself for having solved some problem at work.

And God said to me, “Why are you so surprised that you solved that problem? That’s who you are. That’s what you do.”

And after I picked my jaw up off the floor, I realized that in that statement, I had the key to the mission statement mystery. It wasn’t about who I wanted to be or what I wanted to do or to have. It was about who I am and what I do. Since then, in my study of Scripture, I’ve come to understand that everyone’s mission statement is: “I will love the Lord my God with all my strength, all my soul, all my heart, and all my will by ___ and I will love my neighbor as myself by ____.” The words following are critical and personal, but the idea is the same. That’s what we’re here for.

Fast forward to this summer and reading Renovation of the Heart. I’ve been struggling with his idea of Vision, Intention, and Method (VIM.) He suggests that we should think about our life in the Kingdom, and I’ve felt blindfolded. The best I could come up with was that I want to learn to dance with God. And I’m not suggesting that this is a bad vision, but when it comes down to it, it was another of the what I want things.

Sunday morning, our class handout was a lot of Scripture, including today’s passage, and what came to mind as I read this one was that it’s not about what I want. Again, it’s about right here, right now. It’s about what these verses talk about:

Not losing heart

Renouncing secret ways or disgraceful ways

Renouncing shameful or underhanded ways

Not using deception or cunning

Not distorting the Word of God

As I look at these, I think about what I’ve read in White Fragility and the accusations people have made about my motives. Am I being underhanded or deceptive? Am I trying to be cunning? Am I trying to be perceived in some specific way, whether good or bad, strong or weak, intelligent or foolish? When I make a mistake, if I tell someone I’m sorry, is that the end of it? No, I tend to repeat my apology and declare that I’m an idiot. Then there are the folks who declare “I lied” when they make a mistake.

Last week, when the question of “What is your self-image?” sent me into an emotional tailspin, was I dealing with a realistic self-image, or was I deceiving myself? And is that my self-image because somehow I reward myself for thinking I’m a failure? Could it be an attempt to shirk responsibility? Is it a case of all-or-nothing thinking? Am I underhanded with others or myself? I suspect I am. I know I’m defensive.

So, from this passage, this is a vision on which we can work – rejecting opportunities to be secretive, disgraceful, shameful, underhanded, deceptive, or cunning. In short, we can stop trying to manipulate others.