Unequally Yoked

             Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said:

“I will live with them
    and walk among them,
and I will be their God,
    and they will be my people.”

Therefore,

“Come out from them
    and be separate,
says the Lord.
Touch no unclean thing,
    and I will receive you.”

 And,

“I will be a Father to you,
    and you will be my sons and daughters,
says the Lord Almighty.” (II Corinthians 6:14-18)

 

            Some people seem to think that one can marry someone of another faith, philosophy, or culture (please note that I did not say “race.” These differences are all internal), and all that matters is that they’re in love. They probably don’t think that the differences are that significant, or that they’re exotic and interesting. In the long run, it ends up taking a lot of time and effort to remain true to one’s beliefs while the partner is using a lot of time and effort to remain true to his/hers. One, the other, or both ends up compromising, first in little things that “don’t matter” and later in bigger and bigger things. They may say that compromise is a good thing, until it’s something they think important, or until it seems like they keep compromising and the other doesn’t. Such a relationship can work – but it will be lots harder than a relationship of like minds.

            From Genesis to Revelation, Scripture makes it clear that close association with those of different belief systems is dangerous. This doesn’t refer only to romantic relationships. It refers to business, political, and even social relationships.

When I got my MBA, one of the biggest lessons I learned from it was that I wanted nothing to do with American corporate life. In 2002, I took what I thought was a temporary job with a major American retailer. When they hired me, my immediate reaction was “Oh, no! They hired me. Now what am I going to do.” I worked for them for 13 of the most miserable years of my life. I had yoked myself to something I knew was Years ago, I met with someone I know based on a shared interest in life-coaching. He thought it’d be great for us to build the business together, but he’s an atheist. I could not imagine being able to support his advice to his clients, or his not making subtle (and not-so-subtle) comments to undermine or mock mine. After all, he did so in conversations with me.

Perhaps the biggest mistake we make is entering into these partnerships with the notion that our influence will lead the partner to change. It’s possible, but is going into a relationship with the notion that you’re going to change or manipulate the partner really a good reason to begin or continue the relationship? Would you want to be in a relationship that was all about your partner changing you?

We need to be careful about our relationships, not because God will strike us with lightning if we partner with someone who is not like us, but because the very act of forming such a relationship is likely to have unfortunate results. Again, this isn’t to say that these relationships always turn out bad, but far too often, they do.