Fear

         Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe. (Proverbs 29:25)

 

Once again, definitions are key. Am I fearful of man? Some folks seem to think I have no fear of anyone. At the same time, I spend a lot of time worrying about how people will respond to being steamrolled by me. (“Why are you on the ground? Why are you so flat? Did I say something wrong again?”) I want and need to be considered a good, helpful, intelligent, competent, and/or caring person, and I suspect it’s more than just a typical hunger for significance. So what is fear of man and why is it a problem?

According to Brianna Klassen, “Fear of man is defined as an epidemic of the soul that can be characterized by peer-pressure, worry, and codependency. It is the act of placing others before God in one’s life. (Fear of Man – The Encyclopedia of Biblical Counseling (encyclopediabc.com)) She goes on to quote Edward Welch’s When People Are Big and God Is Small, in which he describes this fear of man as including “includes being afraid of someone, but it extends to holding someone in awe, being controlled or mastered by people, worshipping other people, putting your trust in people, or needing people.”

But in his epistles, Paul tells us to be respectful and to pay honor to whom honor is due. And Jesus taught that if someone requires us to walk with them one mile, that we should walk with them two (the “require” part referring to Roman soldiers who required civilians to act as beasts of burden.) Then there’s the whole humility bit mentioned yesterday. Clearly, there seems to be a line and I prefer my lines to be well-marked and in something at least as permanent as concrete. That’s not how life works.

But that’s part of the problem of being afraid of people and of needing their approval. People change. If you please a person by doing something one day, they may hold the opposite opinion, or demand twice as much of you the next. And the next person in line may not be pleased unless you do something that displeases the first person and twelve others. Small wonder that fearing people is described as a snare.

But the rest of the proverb doesn’t say what I expect it to, which is that fearing the Lord is somehow a positive thing. Instead, it refers to trusting the Lord. Why? Isn’t God infinitely more powerful and exacting in His demands? Well, yes. So the question comes to mind: is there some sense in which fear and trust are different words for the same basic concept?

Fear: an unpleasant emotion caused by the [firm] belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

Trust: [a pleasant emotion caused by the] firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

I added the sections in the brackets to make the parallel more obvious. And given the fact that over the years, some folks have equated fear and faith, it shouldn’t be a surprise. But it both surprises and amuses me to see it here so clearly. The amusement is because I have been known to tell people that I absolutely trust people. I absolutely trust a serial killer to kill people. I trust the movie industry to ruin stories I love. I at least generally trust a politician to act in accordance with the platform of his/her party – especially if he/she is of a party whose platform I disagree. So, I have a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of these people to do something that is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. All of which means that I technically live in a lot of fear about a lot of things – but not often about being wrong about people doing what is natural for them to do.

But what about God? Am I equally confident that God is going to do what comes naturally to God? Yes. But do I know for sure what form that is going to take? No, and that’s the cause of the firm believe in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength becomes an unpleasant emotion caused by the believe that God is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. And here, perhaps, is the crux of the matter. If someone not acting the way I expect them to means that they do something I actually consider positive, it’s not a big problem. But if it means that they do something I consider negative when I expected positive, it’s a big problem. But if I can control how God is permitted to respond, He’s not God, I am. So yes, this is the crux. If I trust God to be God, then I have to firmly believe that God is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat while firmly believing in His reliability, truth, ability, strength and love.