Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Proverbs 4:23)
The heart is deceitful above
all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?
(Jeremiah 17:9)
“Woe to you, teachers of
the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs,
which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of
the dead and everything unclean. (Matthew 23:27)
We all like
to see ourselves as pretty good folks. We’re not perfect. We may even admit
that we are sinners saved by grace, but we’re not murderers, rapists, or
abusers of children, women, or animals. Some of us alternate this view with the
conviction that we are miserable, worthless worms who can’t do anything right,
but at least we’re not murderers, rapists, or abusers of children, women, or
animals. You can add whatever horrible thing that you don’t do to the list. It always
proves that we aren’t as bad as we could be. At the very least, our intentions are good and
that has to count for more than our failures. Or, if that doesn’t, then the
amount of good we do, no matter how small, must be enough to move us into the Good
column.
And
this isn’t a lie we tell solely to others. We tell it to ourselves, and we
believe it of ourselves even if we don’t believe it of anyone else, and even if
no one else believes it of us! This is why we need Scripture, the Holy Spirit,
and other people to whom we are accountable. We also need to learn to be honest
with ourselves, and honest with others.
Years
ago, I discovered myself trying to convince others that I am a freak, because
it would hurt less to have them reject me when we met than it would be once I got
to like them. I introduced myself to coworkers as “The Wicked Witch of the West”
for years and was disappointed when they stopped believing me. I’ve worked on
this, but let me rephrase what I was doing. I was deciding for people how I
knew they’d eventually see me. That means I was showing no respect for them or
their right to decide for themselves what they thought of me.
And
lest you think you should tell me how foolish, unfair, etc., I was being - I
suspect that you do it - at least sometimes - too.
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