Meddling...Ouch

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. (I Corinthians 13:1-3)

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (John 15:13)

 

As we approach St. Valentine’s Day, the thoughts of many who “observe” the day turn to lust. The thoughts of some turn to love. For me, it’s an opportunity to sing the praises of love and to contrast it with what the world says. As a sort of an aside, let’s start with the apparent contradiction. Jesus said laying down one’s life for one’s friends was a demonstration of the greatest love, but Paul said that if we give over our bodies to hardship…but do not have love, we gain nothing. Not every act – even of self-sacrifice – is necessarily a demonstration of love. So there is no contradiction here. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends, but that might not be the only reason someone might lay down their life. They may do so in order to boast – like the young men who shoot into crowds and suffer death by cop. Their goal is to make a name for themselves .

With that bit of irritation out of our way, no matter how well I talk, how much I know, how much authority or wisdom I have or how sacrificial and generous I am, it’s all a waste. Years ago, a pastor said that it was OK for him to talk to the congregation about general things, or things that were problems for other people, but the moment he started dealing with specifics and things that hit home, he was described as meddling. The truth of the matter is that all that I write is designed to meddle, and now it’s time to do so again.

Pick three to five virtues that matter to you. In no particular order, I’ll pick competence, faithfulness, honesty, intelligence, and wisdom. You could pick woke, inclusive, kind, empathetic, and tolerance. It doesn’t matter what your virtues are. You or I could be the shining example of all five - or ten! - of those virtues. In a contest, you or I could shatter all the world records for those traits. But, if you don’t love me, or I don’t love you, it’s all wasted. If either of us does not love the other, we are a waste of flesh and good only for the garbage heap of the universe.

The challenge with that statement is the definition of love. Tomorrow, we’ll start into the characteristics or description of love, but today, let’s go with the definition Dallas Willard gave. Love is the dedicated desire for the good of the beloved, including the desire for a healthy relationship with the beloved. This means that a person could love someone else without the object of their love feeling loved. But objectively, if are doing what you can to help a kid grow up to be capable and responsible, you are loving them even if you never let them do “anything.” And if you let them do what they want, you may not be loving them at all.

                        So let’s make it really meddling and even use some harsh words. If you call people names,             look forward to shaming them, ridicule them, humiliate them, declare them to be subhuman or                      stupid – or otherwise demean them  – YOU are nothing.  You are doing no good for anyone. It                     doesn’t matter if you think you’re right  or justified.  It doesn't matter if you are right and                          justified.  And the same goes for me.