Hot Temper

 A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel. (Proverbs 15:18)

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. (James 1:19)

It is a trap to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider one’s vows. (Proverbs 20:25)

It seems to me that a fair portion of the park in which I live needs to be put in a time out or sent to their rooms (homes up north?) until they are ready to be civil. There have been at least three incidents in which people are acting out in their irritation, and others decide it’s an opportunity to announce to the world how absolutely rude everyone in my park is. Of course, they don’t include themselves in the list even though they are being as rude as anyone else.

And if someone referred to me specifically as being the rudest of the lot, I might agree with them. I’m not looking for anyone to tell me I’m too hard on myself. I am simply not going to deny that I can be and often am more direct and willing to confront people than I probably should be. It can be quite fun. So, I won’t say I’m not the rudest of the lot. If nothing else, trying to hide from that possibility means I must walk in fear of people, cringing whenever they come near lest I do something to offend. I know there are alternatives between offending and cringing, but right now, that’s not the way it feels.

This wouldn’t be a problem if Scripture didn’t teach patience as a virtue and hot temper as a vice. If you’re like me, you’re likely to think of “hot-tempered” as meaning angry, or at least ready to fly into a rage at the slightest provocation. I won’t argue that anger isn’t a part of it, but other verses in the Bible lead to the question of whether the focus of the proverb is really the anger, or the quickness.

And this is where my battle is. These temper-tantrums aren’t really my business, but I am terribly tempted to speak up. I have spoken up on a couple of them and I doubt my words did what I wanted them to. With the last one, I’ve written and deleted responses several times, trying to live by my decision to not get involved. Part of not getting involved requires that I give the people I think are behaving badly the time to recognize their bad behavior and stop. It also requires that I step aside and let God be God and deal with the people who are involved (and with me!) In other words, it requires patience on my part, not quick action.

All this brings to mind a poem written by Rudyard Kipling, called “If”

If—

Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you 

     Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,  

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,   

But make allowance for their doubting too; 

 If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,  

 Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,   

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

 

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;      

If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim; 

 If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster   

And treat those two impostors just the same;  

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken  

 Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,  

 And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

 

If you can make one heap of all your winnings   

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings  

 And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

   To serve your turn long after they are gone, 

 And so hold on when there is nothing in you 

  Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,  

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, 

  If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute   

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,  

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,      

And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!