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Desire


Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4) 

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, and Other Addresses


          Today’s is another of those “emotional” topics with which I struggle: desire. Mr. Bounds says that desire is what fuels our prayer. He uses Moses’ prayer that God forgive the Israelites or that God would blot his name from the book of Life (Exodus 32:32), the Syrophoenician woman who wouldn’t take “no” or an answer (Matthew 15:21-28) and John Knox’s cry that God would give him Scotland  or he die. 
          Fervency of desire isn’t the only factor to be considered. I have strongly desired things to which God said, “No.” My wanting something desperately leads me to not pray for it because I’m sure God will say, “No.” I’m afraid to desire because I’m sure I’ll be disappointed. It’s not that I think God is unloving. It is because He’s loving that He says, “No.”
          I think C.S. Lewis has it right when he says that our desires are too weak, and that we are too easily pleased by trifles. We delight in what ultimately makes our lives smaller, easier, more comfortable and more under our control rather than in God, who makes our lives bigger, harder, less comfortable and completely out of our control. We not only lack the level of desire we should have, we lack the subject of desires we should have.
          The idea of changing in this area of my life is terrifying. People have told me that I’m already too intense. More importantly, I don’t want to want and be disappointed. At the same time, I see the pattern. Mr. Bounds is telling us to engage our minds, our hearts and our bowels…our whole souls not just part and not just in part. And so, I must pray for wisdom, direction, and attitude (including courage) to love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.

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