For the word of
God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates
even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and
attitudes of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12)
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.
(Psalm 119:105)
When
I was in Toastmasters, one of the criticisms I heard repeatedly was that I have
weak closes to my speeches. I don’t finish with rousing calls to action. I got
the same criticism when I worked retail. They kept telling me I have to assume
that the sale is mine, to take control of the situation and keep moving toward
my goal until I was told “no” three times. Some people think I’m strong because
I come across like the stereotypical pit bull when it comes to standing for
something that I believe to be good or right even when others think it
abundantly clear that I’ve lost.
What
they don’t notice is that while they claim I am pushing my religion down their
throats, I never ask them to become a Christian. I rarely tell someone they
should become a Christian. I think it would be a very good thing if they became
a Christian, but I do not turn the conversation in that direction.
The same is true in other areas of my
life. I don’t know when it started or how. I do know that a little over twenty
years ago, I repeatedly found myself in situations in which other people were
making decisions that direct bearings on my life, with me in the room and when
I objected that they weren’t considering my opinions, they told me my opinions
didn’t matter, there was no other decision that could be made. I would just
have to make it work. I may have been reticent before that, but I so hated
feeling the way I felt and I made up my mind that I was not going to make
decisions for others.
When E.M. Bounds says that to pray
effectively, we need to take hold of God’s Word and not let go, to persist and
insist, taking what God has said back to Him and closing the deal (that’s not
how he described it,) I cringe. When I asked for a better job in 2001, my
position was eliminated and I ended up working for half the money in a job I
hated for 14 years. Part of the reason I stayed there is because finding a
better job required that I go out and try to convince someone to hire me and
all the material I read on the subject told me I would have to close the deal
assertively. (Please understand, God used that hated job, and I think He used
me in that hated job. It did me good, and I think I did good. I don’t regret
that spending the time there, but I wasn’t there because I wanted to be there.
I was there because God didn’t miraculously open another job for me elsewhere
and I couldn’t brazen my way into one.)
And
yet, what Mr. Bounds wrote is drawn directly from Scripture. He’s right, and
this whole adventure has to do with getting to know God better and seeing His
face and His hand more in my life. I find myself in a familiarly difficult
situation. Every month, my writing coach holds “office hours” during which we
are encouraged to ask any questions we have. I’ve asked a few but I usually
listen to everyone else’s questions because I have no idea what to ask that
would work within the parameters of a “call in your questions” sort of program.
Father,
Your Word says that if we ask anything in accordance with Your will, that we
will receive it. Your Word teaches that we should dare to be bold in our
requests that are according to Your Word. Guide me to what I should seek, and
grant me the boldness to insist and persist until You reveal Yourself in it.
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