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Whatever


And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. (Hebrews 11:6)


Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours (Mark 11:24)


          Time for some brutal honesty. I don’t like these verses, especially the verse from Mark. Not only does it seem to me that when I ask for something in prayer that it’s pretty-well guaranteed that I won’t get it, but also that if someone else asks for the same thing, they’ll get it. Other people grow up, get jobs in which they progress, get married, have kids, earn enough money to allow them to retire… Other people begin ministries that flourish, allowing them to do something meaningful with their lives. When I asked for these things…nothing.
          Do I sound a little bitter? Perhaps holding a pity party for myself? Being brutally honest again, I’m not really telling the truth. I believe God has answered prayers, particularly wisdom, direction and attitude requests. I believe God has given me wonderful insights, sometimes through others, sometimes through His Word, and sometimes directly. When it comes to “whatever,” however…crickets.
          Some people have told me that the problem is with me. I agree. If I were “good enough” then God could and would trust me with whatever. If only I could manufacture enough faith, I could have whatever. Some people tell me that the problem is with the whatever I ask for. I’m asking amiss, in accordance with worldly lusts and ego. I agree, but He gives those things to others who are no more spiritually-minded than I. Some people tell me I haven’t been persistent or patient enough. Sarai was 99 when she gave birth to Isaac. Joseph spent time in prison. Moses was 80 when he led the Israelites out of Egypt, and 120 when he finished leading them around the wilderness. David was anointed as king long before Saul died and the crown was placed on David’s head, and he spent a good chunk of that time trying to keep from being killed by Saul. They’re right. Some people have chided me. Look at all God gave me. I have a better education than most people. My material needs have been met (but not by either me or miracle. Most of it is thanks to my father’s charity.) I am free from a regular job. I have stuff – some would say that I don’t have any needs, so anything I ask for is gluttony and selfishness. They’re right. What I don’t have is the God who grants whatever to everyone else. What I don’t have is the sense that I matter to God, or that God see me as anything other than a failure.
          That’s why I don’t like these verses. They are used as weapons against me. They strike at a huge chink in my armor. It’s one of the reasons that I ask people to pray for me to have wisdom, direction and attitude. Fortunately, God has answered that prayer. He has also given me a shield against those fiery darts, and not surprisingly, it’s faith, and it comes to me through the last part of Hebrews 11. The grand gallery of the Hall of Faith is filled with named heroes starting with Abel, and running through Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets. These folks “…through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. Women received back their dead, raised to life again.” (Hebrews 11:33-35)
          As we walk through this hall, we see a lot of whatevers being granted. There may be a lot of other galleries in the Hall of Faith, but there is at least one more. In this gallery are “Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. They were stoned; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated…” (Hebrews 11:35-37) 
       It’s the next part that I cling to… “the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground. These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.” (Hebrews 11:38-40) The reality is that most of the heroes who to whom God gave whatevers, and all of the second gallery didn’t receive the whatevers that they were promised (regardless of the other impressive whatevers they may have been given.) They are commended for their faith because they had faith even though they ended their lives on earth without ever receiving the whatever that they most wanted – but they did not give up hope…and so neither can I.
           The God who seems to be withholding Himself from me, who seems to prove Himself to others with whatevers will (and honestly does) prove Himself to me, and if it takes until after my death for me to see them, it will take until after my death for me to see them. I suspect that getting them now wouldn’t strengthen my faith as much as not getting them now does because getting them now wouldn’t require that I hold on to that faith.

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