From the fruit of their lips people enjoy good things, but the unfaithful have an appetite for violence. Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin. (Proverbs 13:2-3)
I’m saddened by the slaughter of elderly Jews in Pittsburgh this past weekend, but I know there are people who will celebrate it. I’m disgusted by media types who think it’s funny to include decapitations (even fake ones) in their acts. I’m angered by those who express a desire for the death of another human being. When Osama Bin Laden was killed, I know people who celebrated, who wanted to see the body, who wanted, effectively, to vicariously bathe in his blood, and I was not polite with those people. I know people now that I am sure would throw parties if our president were killed. They may say they’re loving, compassionate, kind, caring folks, but their actions show that they have an appetite for violence. Some will say “I was triggered,” or that it was the emotion of the moment, but I suspect that the rashness of their words doesn’t remove their violence. I’ve been ridiculed for what some describe as my pacifism, but they haven’t listened to what I’ve said. They’ve listened to their assumptions about what I must have said because anyone who could say not to celebrate the death of Osama Bin Laden must either be a monster or an “Cum By Ya” singing pacifistic idiot.
But, using Bin Laden as an example, I never said that he didn’t need to be killed. I never said that we aren’t better off (or at least potentially safer) because he was killed. My problem wasn’t with his death. My problem was with the appetite for violence that I found, and find, in people. You have every right to dislike former President Obama or current President Trump. But when you relish the possibility of harm to either of them, you’ve stepped over the line. I’m not defending either of them. They aren’t the issue. I am responding to your problem, your hatred, your appetite for violence. I’m addressing the damage that you are doing to yourself and to those around you, the people you claim to love.
I’ve often been told that this person, or these people deserve what they get. That may be true. But do you or your loved ones deserve what hatred and an appetite for violence do to you?
There’s not a lot of research available quickly online about what hate does to the hater. Here’s one I found:
…Research shows that hatred changes the chemistry in the brain as it stimulates the premotor cortex which is responsible for planning and execution of motion. This prepares us to act aggressively when feeling hateful, either to defend or as an attack. This activation also triggers the autonomic nervous system, creating “fight or flight” responses, increasing cortisol and adrenalin. Both these hormones deplete the adrenals and contribute to weight gain, insomnia, anxiety, depression and chronic illness. And so the cycle of bodily and mental dis-ease continues. Hatred also triggers the mind to try to predict what the actions of the person being hated may do, as a way to protect you, but this leads to further anxiety, restlessness, obsessive thinking and paranoia, which also then impacts negatively in the way you engage in relationships. It’s important to note that all these reactions affect only the hater, and not the hated, breaking down your nervous – immune – and endocrine system, and your mental well-being.
The opposite of hatred is not love. It is mental and emotional detachment. Hatred attaches you to the thing or person you hate. Hatred is an intense repulsion that creates a mirror effect in that it attracts the person back to the thing hated in order to be repulsed by it over and over. Hatred is bitter-sweet as it inflates the ego and makes you feel very superior and self-righteous against the thing or one that is hated, only breeding further pain. (http://psychmatters.co.za/newsletters/hatred-hurts)
Hatred brings about an appetite for violence.
There are people who say that I’m hateful. For a long time, I was inclined to agree with them. Now, I’m not so sure. I don’t have an appetite for violence against anyone. Oh, there are moments of anger, but God’s been at work – I find myself praying for people. I prayed for Barak Obama the same way I pray for Donald Trump, the same way I pray for the woman who repeatedly damned me to hell, the same way that I pray for my best friends and my family. This isn’t a “pat Karen on the back” moment. If this is an accomplishment, it’s not mine. In fact, there was a time when I found myself backing away from violence and toward what I will call gentleness that I begged God not to make me go in that direction. I didn’t want to be gentle because I equated it with being weak. Since then, I’ve found out just how much strength is needed not to respond to people with hatred. I’ll grant, readily grant, that there are things I hate. I hate when people celebrate death and destruction. I hate when others demand that I give them or other people the right to tell me how I am to live. I hate when justice is perverted in the name of political correctness and so-called “social” justice. I hate when I’m told to throw my brain in the trash and just be “nice.” But even to these, my solution is not physical violence. It’s not telling the government, “Attack! Destroy!” My response does include standing up for what I believe to be right, and I won’t back down just because someone tells me I’m wrong or gets mad and starts damning me to hell. In fact, my response is such that people on the other side of the argument accuse me of being in favor of the side someone else has accused me of hating. I simply will not quietly approve of those who hate me being given the right to dictate my life.
But, using Bin Laden as an example, I never said that he didn’t need to be killed. I never said that we aren’t better off (or at least potentially safer) because he was killed. My problem wasn’t with his death. My problem was with the appetite for violence that I found, and find, in people. You have every right to dislike former President Obama or current President Trump. But when you relish the possibility of harm to either of them, you’ve stepped over the line. I’m not defending either of them. They aren’t the issue. I am responding to your problem, your hatred, your appetite for violence. I’m addressing the damage that you are doing to yourself and to those around you, the people you claim to love.
I’ve often been told that this person, or these people deserve what they get. That may be true. But do you or your loved ones deserve what hatred and an appetite for violence do to you?
There’s not a lot of research available quickly online about what hate does to the hater. Here’s one I found:
…Research shows that hatred changes the chemistry in the brain as it stimulates the premotor cortex which is responsible for planning and execution of motion. This prepares us to act aggressively when feeling hateful, either to defend or as an attack. This activation also triggers the autonomic nervous system, creating “fight or flight” responses, increasing cortisol and adrenalin. Both these hormones deplete the adrenals and contribute to weight gain, insomnia, anxiety, depression and chronic illness. And so the cycle of bodily and mental dis-ease continues. Hatred also triggers the mind to try to predict what the actions of the person being hated may do, as a way to protect you, but this leads to further anxiety, restlessness, obsessive thinking and paranoia, which also then impacts negatively in the way you engage in relationships. It’s important to note that all these reactions affect only the hater, and not the hated, breaking down your nervous – immune – and endocrine system, and your mental well-being.
The opposite of hatred is not love. It is mental and emotional detachment. Hatred attaches you to the thing or person you hate. Hatred is an intense repulsion that creates a mirror effect in that it attracts the person back to the thing hated in order to be repulsed by it over and over. Hatred is bitter-sweet as it inflates the ego and makes you feel very superior and self-righteous against the thing or one that is hated, only breeding further pain. (http://psychmatters.co.za/newsletters/hatred-hurts)
Hatred brings about an appetite for violence.
There are people who say that I’m hateful. For a long time, I was inclined to agree with them. Now, I’m not so sure. I don’t have an appetite for violence against anyone. Oh, there are moments of anger, but God’s been at work – I find myself praying for people. I prayed for Barak Obama the same way I pray for Donald Trump, the same way I pray for the woman who repeatedly damned me to hell, the same way that I pray for my best friends and my family. This isn’t a “pat Karen on the back” moment. If this is an accomplishment, it’s not mine. In fact, there was a time when I found myself backing away from violence and toward what I will call gentleness that I begged God not to make me go in that direction. I didn’t want to be gentle because I equated it with being weak. Since then, I’ve found out just how much strength is needed not to respond to people with hatred. I’ll grant, readily grant, that there are things I hate. I hate when people celebrate death and destruction. I hate when others demand that I give them or other people the right to tell me how I am to live. I hate when justice is perverted in the name of political correctness and so-called “social” justice. I hate when I’m told to throw my brain in the trash and just be “nice.” But even to these, my solution is not physical violence. It’s not telling the government, “Attack! Destroy!” My response does include standing up for what I believe to be right, and I won’t back down just because someone tells me I’m wrong or gets mad and starts damning me to hell. In fact, my response is such that people on the other side of the argument accuse me of being in favor of the side someone else has accused me of hating. I simply will not quietly approve of those who hate me being given the right to dictate my life.
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