Deceit is in the hearts of those who plot evil, but those who promote peace have joy. No harm overtakes the righteous, but the wicked have their fill of trouble. The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy. (Proverbs 12:20-22)
According to the news, the political leader of Venezuela, and possibly some other Marxist leaders (from Cuba and elsewhere) are behind the current caravan of “refugee” invaders coming from Central America. I’ve heard there are at least two more waves being organized. Venezuela, a Leftist nation that is falling apart, is sending groups of people to us, promising them lots of treats, in an attempt to trick the American elections in November. Can you say election tampering by foreign governments? In other news, someone mailed a bunch of pipe bombs (that may not even be capable of exploding) to people who have expressed their contempt of President Trump. It’s not my goal to be political here. I hope they catch the bomber before anyone gets hurt.
No, my goal is to point out that deceit is commonplace in our world. According to one source Americans tell an average of 11 lies per week. Another source says that kids are liars by the age of four, having learned to lie as early as the age of two. A ten-minute conversation with someone new is likely to include at least three lies. Men are twice as likely to lie as women. I don’t know if these statistics are true. I especially have doubts about the last one, and I suspect that some of our lies aren’t lies as much as they’re misjudgments or mistakes. I know people who give an answer, and when they’re corrected or correct themselves, they say, “I lied, it’s…” How in the world did we reach the point where it is better to be called a liar than to be found to be incorrect? I think this is especially true with food portions. That package of food you just ate may have included 2.5 portions, but in your mind, it was one portion because it was one bag. A portion of sweet potatoes is about half of a cup. Do you realize how small a half of a cup of sweet potatoes is? So are we lying when we say we took one portion if we think a cup looks closer to a reasonable portion? Who sets these ridiculous portion rules anyway?
I can believe the claim that we fail to tell the truth at least three times within the first ten-minute discussion with someone we have just met. I’ve been there. Guilty as charged. But here’s the thing. It’s not that I’m telling you something that’s not true. It’s that I’m using truth to lie to you about who I am to protect myself from being hurt when you decide I’m a freak or a monster and walk away. Let me share all the ways I am unacceptable: bull-headed, insecure, unkind, intolerant, socially backward, ugly, fat, weird, perfectionistic, “smarter than thou”…. Many years ago, I was at a conference and realized that somehow, I was not putting on my standard “freak show,” with an acquaintance. I really wasn’t sure what to do after that. Again, it wasn’t that I’m not all those things, but I am not only all those things. I deceive to protect myself from your disapproval and you from me.
There are three areas in which we tend to actually think it’s right to lie: It’s OK to lie to the enemy. It’s OK to lie to keep from hurting someone’s feelings (“Do these pants make me look fat?” Noooooooo.) It’s OK to lie to keep a secret, especially a secret like a surprise party. I’m going to add a fourth. I suspect we think it’s OK to hide a purchase that we might have every right to make, but about which we think someone might disapprove. I bought a new smoothie maker yesterday because the cheap ones I’ve been buying keep dying. It’s at the kitchen table but I haven’t told Dad about it, and I’m really hoping he doesn’t notice. I make a lot of purchases like that. Other people buy something and take pictures to show them off. I feel guilty and hide them. I now find myself wondering what it would be like to go through a day in which I was actually honest with people (including myself.)
No, my goal is to point out that deceit is commonplace in our world. According to one source Americans tell an average of 11 lies per week. Another source says that kids are liars by the age of four, having learned to lie as early as the age of two. A ten-minute conversation with someone new is likely to include at least three lies. Men are twice as likely to lie as women. I don’t know if these statistics are true. I especially have doubts about the last one, and I suspect that some of our lies aren’t lies as much as they’re misjudgments or mistakes. I know people who give an answer, and when they’re corrected or correct themselves, they say, “I lied, it’s…” How in the world did we reach the point where it is better to be called a liar than to be found to be incorrect? I think this is especially true with food portions. That package of food you just ate may have included 2.5 portions, but in your mind, it was one portion because it was one bag. A portion of sweet potatoes is about half of a cup. Do you realize how small a half of a cup of sweet potatoes is? So are we lying when we say we took one portion if we think a cup looks closer to a reasonable portion? Who sets these ridiculous portion rules anyway?
I can believe the claim that we fail to tell the truth at least three times within the first ten-minute discussion with someone we have just met. I’ve been there. Guilty as charged. But here’s the thing. It’s not that I’m telling you something that’s not true. It’s that I’m using truth to lie to you about who I am to protect myself from being hurt when you decide I’m a freak or a monster and walk away. Let me share all the ways I am unacceptable: bull-headed, insecure, unkind, intolerant, socially backward, ugly, fat, weird, perfectionistic, “smarter than thou”…. Many years ago, I was at a conference and realized that somehow, I was not putting on my standard “freak show,” with an acquaintance. I really wasn’t sure what to do after that. Again, it wasn’t that I’m not all those things, but I am not only all those things. I deceive to protect myself from your disapproval and you from me.
There are three areas in which we tend to actually think it’s right to lie: It’s OK to lie to the enemy. It’s OK to lie to keep from hurting someone’s feelings (“Do these pants make me look fat?” Noooooooo.) It’s OK to lie to keep a secret, especially a secret like a surprise party. I’m going to add a fourth. I suspect we think it’s OK to hide a purchase that we might have every right to make, but about which we think someone might disapprove. I bought a new smoothie maker yesterday because the cheap ones I’ve been buying keep dying. It’s at the kitchen table but I haven’t told Dad about it, and I’m really hoping he doesn’t notice. I make a lot of purchases like that. Other people buy something and take pictures to show them off. I feel guilty and hide them. I now find myself wondering what it would be like to go through a day in which I was actually honest with people (including myself.)
Lord, You tell us that You hate lying lips, but it really seems as though the statistics are right. We are a people who love to lie, who don’t even realize when we’re telling a lie, and who try to justify our lies with more lies. Forgive us. Change us. Teach us to tell the truth in love, both to ourselves and to others.
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